The Best Thing
by Sile.Authoress
Summary: Past experience has taught Ivana that love is a waste of time, until her friendship with Alfred F. Jones begins to blossom into something more. But the road to happiness is a bumpy one.  College AU: Fem!RussiaxAmerica and minor pairings. M for later sex.
1. Chapter 1: Flight Risk

Disclaimer: I, in no way claim any rights to or profits from Axis Powers Hetalia, those belong to Hidekaz Himaruya and the companies that print and distribute APH, and justly so.

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><p>Chapter 1: Flight Risk<p>

Ivana walked down the street, grateful she had gotten off at the right bus stop to make it back to her dorm. Her arms were beginning to tire from the shopping bags she was carrying and her feet were beginning to hurt from all the walking and running she'd done that day. Fortunately, she was only a few meters away from the cross walk that would take her across the street to campus housing.

Just a meter ahead to her left a man hesitated in a doorway as he checked his pockets. Ivana slowed as delicious, savory smells wafted through the open doorway to her nose. Without thinking she stopped and inhaled deeply. The man in the doorway found what he was looking for and walked away raising a cell phone to his ear. Ivana watched the door close on those wonderful smells. She resettled the shopping bags in her hands and cursed the airline for losing her luggage before mentally budgeting the money left over from her shopping trip earlier that day. She might have enough to get a snack to tide her over until dinner was served at the cafeteria that evening. Her stomach growled, she had gotten on the wrong bus at first on her way back and consequentially missed lunch. She took a slow step forward checking over her calculations again. She should have enough to last her the rest of the month, even with this expense. Her stomach growled again and she made up her mind. She hesitated only long enough to read the name of the restaurant before walking into the Café Amour de Paris.

She paused as the door swung shut behind her, waiting to see if a host would take her to a table. When no one appeared she walked over to a window side table to the right of the door. After readjusting her many shopping bags she set them in the chair next to her and surveyed inside of the café. It was casual and tastefully decorated, not what she expected from an American restaurant that probably served faux French food.

It was late in the afternoon so the café was quiet and almost empty. On the far side of the café a group of giggling young women was seated at a large table in a corner. Sitting at another window seat on the other side of the door, a lone man drank a cup of coffee while reading a newspaper. The only other patrons were a couple seated in the middle of the café, two tables away from the door. The man looked pissed: his arms were crossed and he was frowning, his partner was glaring at him and complaining about something. Unfortunately, it was very easy for everyone in the café to hear what they were saying.

"What is that bimbo to you, huh?" the woman snarled "I thought she was _just_ your coworker."

"Shut up," snapped the man, "You're making a scene." In the corner the girls had gone quiet. The man had looked up from his paper, frowning at the couple.

"Yes", said a waiter with thick eyebrows and a British accent as he arrived at their table, "You're disturbing our other patrons. I'll have to ask you both to leave."

The woman looked around the café and flushed dark red. Not waiting to be asked twice she rose, called the man a "sonofabitch", and stormed out. The man threw some money on the table and followed suit, shouting at her to "bring her fat ass back here and pay him back".

Ivana sighed and shook her head as she watched the man run down the street. That love affair was obviously over. She would never understand why people got in relationships if they weren't ready for them. It was just a stupid waste of time that always ended painfully. Thanks to her parents, she had learned that hard lesson young.

A large, tanned hand placed a menu before her. "Hello, I'm really sorry about making you wait. I'm Alfred and I'll be your waiter today. I hope that couple wasn't bothering you."

Her gloomy thoughts vanished as she looked up into the bluest eyes she had ever seen. "No", she said, suppressing the sudden irrational urge to blush "But I am glad that they left."

Alfred chuckled. "Yep, Arthur's good at being a bulldog when he needs to. What would you like to drink?"

"Coffee please."

He jotted it down, "I'll be right back to take your order."

She watched him as he turned to get coffee. He was tall…and muscular. She really did blush at that thought and resisted the temptation of checking out what was certain to be a nicely toned ass. Instead she would decide what to order, and picked up the menu. She was trying to choose between a pastry or some soup when Alfred returned with the coffee pot.

"Have you decided what to order?" he asked.

She hesitated, "What do the soups come with?"

"A fresh baked panini of your choice or your choice of a variety of fresh baked rolls. We do all the baking here in the café. Well, at least Francis, the chef, does."

"What would you recommend?"

Alfred leaned over the menu she was holding and she became very aware of the warmth of his body heat. He also had a very pleasant scent, cologne mixed with the smell of good food and his own personal scent. She couldn't understand why was he leaning so close to her; shouldn't he know the menu already?

"I think the chicken noodle soup is best. But that's my favorite. It comes with a chicken-pesto Panini." He smiled down at her; it was such a friendly smile that she couldn't help smiling back.

"I'd like that then."

His grin widened, "Coming right up."

She blushed as he went to place the order with the kitchen.

A few other people came in as she ate the soup and panini, keeping Alfred pretty busy. But he always made a point to come over and refill her coffee cup and ask her if she needed anything. When she had finished her last cup of coffee he brought over her check and she took out her wallet.

She counted out the correct amount for her bill, only to realize too late that she didn't have enough to give Alfred a good tip, he'd earned one. She slipped the money into the little billfold and stared guiltily at the lone dollar lying under her coffee mug. Alfred came over and she stood to go.

"Let me get your receipt." he said as he picked up the billfold, his eyes scanning the table. She looked down at him. Alfred was probably over six feet, but so was she.

"That won't be necessary." She said quickly, "I'm sorry about the small tip." She grabbed her shopping bags and hurried toward the door. It was just swinging shut behind her when she heard him say "Hey!" She picked up her pace and made for the intersection. She had nearly crossed the street when she heard it again.

"Heey!" She stopped and turned to see Alfred running toward her across the street. He made it over just as the light changed.

"Yes?" she asked with a frown.

"Here," he gasped, holding up a small paper bag. "You left this behind."

She stared at the shopping bag and blushed.

"Don't worry I didn't look in it or anything." He said, blushing as well.

"Спасибо", She murmured and took the bag. It was from an underwear and loungewear shop.

He frowned in confusion. "Sorry, what did you say?"

She felt a twinge of embarrassment. "I said 'thank you', in Russian."

"You're welcome. Wow, you're Russian? What brings you here?" He glanced behind her at the entrance to campus. "College?"

"Yes."

"Cool, I'm a college student too. What's your name?"

"Ivana."

"Nice to meet you Ivana." He shook her hand. The palm of his hand was calloused and warm, "Hopefully I'll see you around some time." Alfred smiled and turned to press the "walk" button.

"And don't worry about the tip." He added with a smile. "I just hope you'll come back soon."

Charmed in spite of herself, she couldn't help but smile back, "I think I will."

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><p>A week and a day later Ivana was walking back from class on a warm fall day when she slipped inside the café again. Between her busy class schedule and her search for a part time job she hadn't had any time to come again until today. She sat down at the window table she'd chosen before and looked around for Alfred. The café was busier this time because it was the beginning of the lunch hour. A few minutes later she saw a blonde head moving her way. She reached up and tucked her hair behind her ears, a small smile on her lips. Then her smile fell. It was not Alfred.<p>

"Good Afternoon, welcome to the Café Amour de Paris. I'm Ludwig and I'll be your waiter today. What can I bring you to drink?" said a grim looking man with slicked blonde hair.

"Coffee please."

He returned with her coffee and looked at her expectantly. Instead of ordering she said, "Is…Alfred here?"

"No, he doesn't work today. What would you like to order?" He took her order, tomato bisque and beef-pesto panini, and left her to her disappointment.

She sipped her coffee and stared out the window. How stupid could she be? He was a college student; of course he was busy too. It was ridiculous to be so disappointed just because she hadn't seen him. She barely knew the man.

Besides, she did not have time to be making a fool of herself over a man. She was busy, she had places to go, homework to do, a job to search for. Not only would getting involved with a man interfere with her schedule but it would mess up her college plans. She had no intentions of returning to Russia as a screw-up with a broken heart. She had come to America to prove something and by damn she would prove it. Ludwig returned with her soup; and as she picked up her spoon, she shoved her disappointment aside.

She was finishing her second cup of coffee when Ludwig came with her check. He set it down but didn't walk away. She looked up at him and raised her eyebrows slightly. His cheeks were a little flushed and he looked annoyed about something. He glanced over his shoulder, then back at her.

"You asked about Alfred," his words were clipped and quiet, "Would you like to give me any messages for him?"

She realized that he wasn't annoyed per se, more like embarrassed. She looked back into her coffee cup.

No, she didn't have anything important to tell Alfred. She barely knew him. He was just a friendly boy with a nice smile. She did like his smile.

"Just 'hello'."

Ludwig's embarrassment disappeared as he frowned at her. "That's it?" he asked.

She nodded and he left. She drank the last of her coffee and watched him walk towards the kitchen where he was intercepted by a man with long hair tied back in a ponytail wearing a chef's coat. He must be Francis. Ludwig said something to him and Francis folded his arms and shot her a confused, frowning look as if she were a loaf of bread that wasn't rising fast enough. She ignored him and took out her wallet to pay her bill.

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><p><span>Authoress Babble<span>:  
>The beginning of my second multi-chapter fic, in which I finally get around to writing my OTP. Oh and the giggling girls are a bunch of Hetalia fangirls, talking about yaoi (hence the giggling).<br>What do you think? Next chapter will be up soon, please review!

Translations:  
>Russian: Thank you.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2: By the Water

Disclaimer: I, in no way claim any rights to or profits from Axis Powers Hetalia, those belong to Hidekaz Himaruya and the companies that print and distribute APH, and justly so.

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><p>Chapter 2: By the Water<p>

Ivana set down her pencil and rested her head in her hands, closing her eyes with a tired sigh. She had given her message to Ludwig only a few days ago; yet today, on top of all the work she had to do, it seemed more like a week. Ivana raised her head slightly and checked her watch, it was 6:30. She had been working on her homework in the library for almost three hours now in an attempt to give her roommates a little breathing room. She was living in a campus apartment meant for four but had only two other roommates who shared the other bedroom. Feliciana and Lovina Vargas were both Italian exchange students, and had moved in a day after Ivana had. Despite being sisters, or perhaps because of it, Feliciana and Lovina were as different as two people could be. Ivana had almost immediately taken a liking to Feliciana, a culinary arts major who was open-faced, friendly and quickly insisted on cooking them all pasta for dinner. Lovina, a fashion design major who was cross, foul-mouthed and scowled often, would take some getting used to.

Apart from an obvious familial resemblance in haircurls; Ivana soon discovered that both of her roommates were also very loud in everything they did, whether it was cooking, cleaning, studying, talking, and even sleeping. But, as she had discovered the night before, most especially when they were fighting. After listening to them argue for half an hour as she was trying to do her accounting homework, Ivana had marched into their room and told them calmly but very plainly that if they didn't resolve their differences or take their fight elsewhere she would not be held accountable for what she would do to them. After that she hadn't heard so much as a peep from them all evening, or the next morning. When she'd returned from class at noon she'd run into Feliciana in the hall, but Feliciana had backtracked before Ivana could even say hello.

So after her last class today she had decided to give them the run of the apartment and do her homework at the library instead. Maybe when she got back tonight she could talk to them about last night. She really did want to be friends with them; but, it seemed the same thing that had happened in Russia was beginning to happen here too. There was something about her that put people off. She'd noticed it when she was around other children after her parents had finally split up. They had just treated her sister and her differently. Yekaterina had overcome it as she'd grown older. But she had always been the sweeter one, the more vulnerable one. For Ivana it had just gotten worse as she'd gotten older.

She sighed and picked up her pencil. She only had a few more practice questions from her accounting homework then she would be finished with all her homework for the evening and go home and make something to eat. Her pencil hovered over the paper but Ivana couldn't see it. She felt hollow, as if a black hole had opened up inside her and was determined to suck everything into it. She was so ostracized from everyone around her, both the strangers here in America and even the people she cared about back in Europe.

She did not notice the footsteps until they stopped behind her. "Hey, Ivana." said a familiar voice. She looked up, the pull of the loneliness forgotten, to see Alfred smiling down at her, a backpack over his shoulder.

"Mind if I join you?" Alfred asked.

She stared at him a moment then shook her head. "No, I don't mind. I was just working on some homework."

"That's just what I need to be doing," said Alfred with a laugh as he sat down on the other side of the table, "Don't worry. I won't bother you."

She nodded and started working on her equations again as Alfred unpacked his books. They studied in companionable silence for a few minutes. Then Alfred began to fidget. At first she ignored him, but when he began to tap his pencil, jiggle his foot, and hum at the same time she looked up at him.

"Sorry." he said and stopped. "I'm just trying to think."

She nodded and returned to her equation. A few minutes later Alfred said, "So, I heard that you stopped by the café a few days ago."

She looked up at him, "Yes I did."

"I'm sorry I missed you. Um, Francis gave me your message." He looked nervous. "Would you mind telling me it again?"

She frowned at him, "I only told Ludwig that I said 'Hello'. Why?"

"Oh", said Alfred looking a little relieved. "It's nothing; it's just that Francis has the tendency to exaggerate sometimes so I wasn't sure."

"I see." Ivana didn't understand what exactly he meant but if it had anything to do with the look Francis had given her a few days ago she wasn't sure she wanted to know.

Quiet filled the void left by her words, until he began to tap his foot again. But it was only his foot this time. She began to work faster, the rate of her writing matching his tapping. Soon she had finished her equation. She looked up to see Alfred staring at his own paper and frowning.

Feeling obligated to start the conversation this time she said, "What are you working on?"

He looked up and the tapping stopped. "Just stats, math's not my thing, but I have to take it so I'm trying to get it over with. Are you good at math?"

"Yes." She hesitated but decided she might as well offer, "Would you like some help?"

"Sure." He turned the book around so she could see the problem and began explaining what he had done so far. She saw the mistake at once and tried to think of the nicest way to explain that he'd forgotten to make a certain number negative instead of positive.

"Shit", he hissed as he fixed the problem and reworked it. It came out correctly this time. "Thanks a lot. I'm always doing dumb stuff like that. I hate math."

"What's your major?"

His lips twisted in a sarcastic smile, "Business management, with a minor in Archeology. You?"

"Accounting."

"How appropriate, do you like it?" he leaned forward, folding his arms on the table.

"Yes…I like being able to put all the components together to create something new. It's interesting to see how the numbers work with one another, like it's a puzzle. Things are straightforward; you either add, subtract, multiply, or divide."

She blinked and realized she'd been staring into space. She never rambled, let alone about accounting, to anyone. Alfred was smiling.

"Yep, sounds like you like it a lot. So, you're going to become an accountant?"

"Yes, I'm going to work for an agency or a business. What about you, do you like business management?"

"Oh," he drew the word out as if considering what to say next "It's alright." He shrugged.

"It sounds like you don't like it."

"I like working with people. It's just the classes that make it seem so dry and boring, and there's so many rules. But it should open up job opportunities."

"What did you have in mind?"

He shrugged again. "I'm sure something will come up."

"What about the Archeology minor? That doesn't seem to fit with business management."

"No it doesn't. It's my hobby. I love that sort of thing, studying other cultures, their people, and their history. I'd do a minor in history too if I had enough money and time. But as Francis would say: 'C'est La Vie'", he said with a grin, pronouncing the French with a guttural, overdone French accent.

They worked in companionable silence a little while longer, breaking it only to discuss Alfred's statistics questions. Finally she stood up and packed her bags.

"You're going?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm finished."

He got up and began to pack too. "Can I buy you a coffee?"

She zipped up her bag, hesitating.

"As repayment for helping me with my stats homework", He added "Don't worry; it's not like a date or anything."

A small anxious knot in her chest relaxed at those words, "Sure."

After they had gotten their drinks from the shop next to the library, black coffee for Ivana and mocha for Alfred, they walked outside into the waning warmth of an autumn evening. Ivana was about to walk straight towards the intersection when Alfred put a hand on her arm.

"What?"

"Uh, do you want to take a different way home?"

"What do you mean?"

He pointed to the left: further down the street was the entrance of a paved trail. "That's the Coastal Trail. It leads down to the beach and then curves back toward the city. There's a little side trail that comes out by the café. It will take a little longer but the walk is really beautiful and the view of the ocean is spectacular."

"Дa, yes. Let's go. I've never seen the ocean up close."

They walked past the intersection and onto the trail. It curved away from the street and soon they were surrounded by trees. The traffic noise became muffled, then distant as they traveled further from the street. Ivana sighed, feeling the stress of that week drift away in the quiet of the trees. The awkwardness between her and her roommates seemed more trivial now. Alfred was also quiet and his step was intent. When they began to hear the distant crashing of waves he began to walk faster. As they neared a bend where the trees thinned he grabbed her hand and began to pull her with him. Her long legs easily matched his strides. She glanced over at him, about to protest, but hesitated when she saw the look of excitement on his face; it reminded her of a kid anticipating treat. They rounded the bend and he stopped just beyond the trees releasing her hand as if he never realized he'd grabbed it. She forgot what she'd been about to say as she walked a few steps past him, entranced.

It was beautiful. The beach was a wide, gentle slope made up of sand and small gravel. The trail kept its back to the tree line and turned back towards the city a mile or two down the beach just as that land rose into some sea cliffs.

"Do you want to walk down to the water?" asked Alfred, his voice full of quiet reverence.

Ivana looked down at her boots. They were spiked heels, not practical for walking in loose terrain. "Perhaps I should stay on the concrete for now. But I will come back. It is beautiful here."

"Do you want to meet here tomorrow or Saturday? I could come down during my lunch and we could hang out."

Ivana looked into those blue, blue eyes. She wasn't going to fall in love with him. She had too many important things to worry about, and she knew better. But there was something about Alfred that attracted her to him. Whatever it was that put others off didn't seem to bother him, if he had noticed it at all. He also hadn't tried to seduce her or get her to sleep with them like other men she had met. He was just a nice guy who wanted to be her friend. She certainly wouldn't turn him away on those grounds.

"I'd like that," she said with a small smile, "What time do you have lunch?"

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><p><span>Authoress Babble<span>:  
>They drink coffee like it's water! They must be college students. Oh and before you say that Alfred is a complete idiot, let me confess that I too have mislabeled numbers when doing formulas. I tell you it makes using the quadratic equation a bitch. Which is why I'm not majoring in Math... ; D<br>Also, thank you so much to everyone who reviewed and faved and alerted for this story after just one chapter! I really loved hearing from you all and I'm so glad you all enjoyed the first chapter. Here's hoping you enjoyed this chapter, but loved it or hated it I'd love to hear from you. Please review~!

Coming up next chapter: The lunch date and an indication of some of the minor pairings. Plus you get to see Ivana's noisy roommates in action.

Translations:  
>French: That's Life<p>

Russian: Yes


	3. Chapter 3: Careful

Disclaimer: I, in no way claim any rights to or profits from Axis Powers Hetalia, those belong to Hidekaz Himaruya and the companies that print and distribute APH, and justly so.

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><p>Chapter 3: Careful<p>

The next day Ivana was at least twenty minutes late to meet Alfred for lunch. As a way of showing that she bore Ivana no ill will Feliciana had fixed a large Italian lunch for them and then sat talking to her for at least half an hour even after both of them had finished. Ivana stifled a groan as she walked toward Alfred who was sitting cross legged on a section of the Coastal Trail, she had eaten far too much of the rich food. Not that she regretted it, the food had been delicious and she was relieved that she was no longer on the outs with Feliciana at least. Lovina was still a puzzle. When Ivana had come home the night before she'd managed to run into her roommates as they were coming out of the bathroom dressed up to go out. Both had looked frightened when she came in but Lovina had set her jaw and faced Ivana while Feliciana peered uneasily over her shoulder.

"Look," Lovina had said with a slight tremor in her voice, "I know you're pissed but it's our apartment too—"

"We didn't mean to disturb you." interrupted Feliciana quickly, "Please don't hurt us."

"I won't." Ivana said, trying to sound soothing as Lovina glowered at her sister, "I was just very angry last night. I lost my temper. I should not have said what I did. But," she looked Lovina square in the eye, "this is my apartment as well and I have the right to study in peace and quiet if I wish. This is a university."

"What do you want from us then?" Lovina said.

"I would just like some quiet in the evenings so I can study. What you do in your room is your business. I just don't want to hear it in my room."

Silence followed her words until the doorbell rang, a man called: "Lovi! Feli! We're here. Are you ready?"

"Shut up bastard," she snapped toward the door, "We're coming."

Lovina turned back to Ivana, "Fine, we'll be quieter."

Ivana smiled, trying to make seem as genuine as possible, "Thank you. Again, I am sorry about losing my temper. I hope we can be frie—"

"Our dates are here. We need to go," snapped Lovina not meeting her eye as tugged her sister passed Ivana and out the door.

Ivana sighed at the memory. Earlier this morning, as she mixed pasta dough, Feliciana had explained that Lovina was usually brusque and vulgar with everyone. She didn't resent Ivana, she just didn't want to show it. Feliciana explained that it had something to do with what Lovina's therapist called a "protective mechanism". Lovina was seeing a therapist because apparently she'd just gotten out of an unhealthy relationship. But now she was seeing a Spanish man named Antonio and he was so much nicer than Benito had been. She could tell Lovina liked him a lot already…

Ivana walked behind Alfred who hadn't heard her come up. She hesitated, what if he was angry because she was late? Had she gained one friend only to lose another?

"Hello," she said.

Alfred jumped and looked up at her. Then he smiled, "Hey, there you are. I was a little worried that you weren't going to show up."

"I am sorry," she said crouching down next to him, "I was eating lunch with my roommate and lost track of time."

"That's alright," he said, "That must have been quite a lunch, what did you have?"

She smiled, "Pasta. My roommate is a culinary arts major so she likes to do all the cooking."

"Nice, I wish I had a culinary arts major for my roommate."

"What did you have for lunch?"

He held up a half eaten sandwich, "Chicken salad."

"Oh, next time I'll bring you some of the leftovers. Feliciana makes so much that we cannot eat it all."

Alfred waved a hand, "That's alright. Francis always gives me leftovers from the Café. You don't need to."

"It really is no trouble. The food is very good and as I said before, there is too much for the three of us to eat."

He grinned, "Well, if you insist."

They watched the waves for a while as Alfred ate the rest of his sandwich. When he was finished he stood up and offered her his hand. She took it and stood. He glanced at her shoes, sleek black tennis shoes, "Beach appropriate footwear I see." he said with a smile, "You want to walk down by the water?"

She nodded and they set off. After a couple of steps he said, "So what are your roommates like? Do you like them?"

Ivana sighed, "I do, or I should say, I like Feliciana at least. Her sister is a little harder to get along with." She paused, "I hope they like me."

"I'm sure they do. Or they will," She frowned at him for saying something so ridiculous when he barely knew her as well. He returned her frown but seemed more confused than annoyed, "What? Have you had any fights with them?"

"Not really. We did have a misunderstanding but I think that's behind us now. And how do you presume to know what sort of person I am or what sort of people my roommates are?"

"I don't, presume," he replied, "I'm just trying to be reassuring. I mean, I only met you last week and I've seen you less than your roommates have, but I like you already."

At those words her annoyance lifted and she was filled with a light feeling, as if she were walking on clouds instead of sand and gravel. She felt herself begin to blush.

Alfred ran a hand through his hair. His cheeks reddened as he continued: "I mean, you know how when you meet someone, and it may just be one conversation or one cup of coffee, but you feel like you know that person through and through, and you just know you're always going to like that person and become friends with them." He glanced at her, "Like you were meant to find each other." Alfred clamped his mouth shut.

For a minute the only sound between them was the rush of the surf. Ivana wasn't sure what to say, no one had ever been that forward with her. Alfred wouldn't meet her eye and looked extremely embarrassed.

"Uh, sorry to ramble like that," he said, "Arthur says I babble all the time. Usually I know what I'm talking about, but that all just sort of came out. Like word vomit."

"No," said Ivana laying a hand on his arm. He looked up at her and she smiled, "It was nice. I, I think I know what you mean."

Alfred returned her smile, "Thanks."

They walked along the beach in silence until Ivana was sure she was no longer blushing. Why did being around Alfred do that to her? She snuck a glance at Alfred out of the corner of her eye. She wasn't in love with him. But she felt drawn to him, he was just so open and eager to let others into his life and make them a part of it. She had never really met anyone like him before.

"So," Ivana said, "Roommates, do you have any?"

"Hm?" Alfred said, "Oh, no. I live in a tiny one room bachelor pad off campus. It's cheaper that way."

"Ah."

"What brings you all the way here from Russia?"

"I wanted to see more of the world. I have only ever lived in Moscow, and Mogliev, Belarus for a short time, in my life. When I heard about the exchange scholarship for this university I decided to apply."

"How long will you be here for?"

"A year."

"So, I guess I have to ask, what do you think of America so far?"

She considered the question a moment, "I like it, so far. Except I still don't understand America's refusal to use the metric system, or the obsession with fast food. I understand the concept of eating on the go, but, the food's not very good."

"Not very good?" Alfred echoed, his voice rising in alarm, "How dare you insinuate that the Big Mac, the crispy chicken sandwich, the whopper, and most importantly the divine ice cream of Dairy Queen are 'not very good'?"

She frowned at him, where had this come from? "Alfred, what—"

"No!" Alfred raised a hand motioning for her to stop. He raised the other to his forehead in a dramatic gesture and closed his eyes, turning his head away, "Speak no more blasphemy to my tender American ears!"

Ivana stared at him. Alfred held his pose for a moment longer then dropped his arms and grinned at her.

"I'm kidding." He started to snicker and put a hand up to his mouth, "You should see your face."

Ivana continued to stare. Then her mind flashed back to Alfred's melodramatic pose, and as Alfred's infectious laughter rose, she began to laugh as well.

"Don't tell me you like it that much?" she said when they had caught their breath.

He stopped, "Naw, it's alright for a quick bite. I used to eat it a lot more when I first started to work for Francis but he found out and sort of weaned me off of it. But seriously, don't bad mouth Dairy Queen's ice cream."

She sent him a skeptical look.

"Seriously," he said, "Have you ever tried Dairy Queen?"

"Иet."

"Well, we'll just have to go there some time won't we?"

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye in a way that suggested she was still skeptical, "It had better be really good ice cream."

"It is. What time do you have by the way?"

She showed him her watch.

"Shit", he muttered, "I'm late." He turned to run back to the Coastal Trail, "Call me or text me when you're free tomorrow. I work all day but we could catch lunch again, or you could come by the Café!"

"I don't have your phone number."

"Oh yeah," he turned back to her, "Pass me your phone."

"It's in Cyrillic; just tell me your number."

Alfred hesitated a moment then grinned, "1-800-SPANK ME."

She glared at him, "Don't tempt me."

He laughed and told her his phone number then ran back to the trail waving good bye as he did so.

Ivana waved until he disappeared from sight. She looked down at her phone, studying Alfred's phone number before putting it into her purse. Then she put her hands in her pockets and began to walk down the beach again. She made it a few steps when she realized that by telling her where he was going to be tomorrow, there was really no need for Alfred to give her his cell phone number. She could just stop by the Café tomorrow and see him. She smiled and shook her head. Yes, she'd never met anyone quite like Alfred before. But, she was enjoying this new experience.

* * *

><p>The next day Ivana walked into the Café at about twelve o'clock and took a corner seat by a window. From there she could see the dining area of the Café as well as the street outside. Alfred was busy with another customer and hadn't seen her come inside. She was so busy watching him that she didn't notice a man approach her table until he spoke.<p>

"Welcome to my Café, ma chere. It is nice to see you have returned to us."

Ivana looked up to see Francis the chef. A handsome man: he had shoulder length blonde hair that was tied back in a ponytail, deep blue eyes, and the sort of grin that was supposed to turn women's insides to water. Ivana had seen plenty of her mother's boyfriends with the exact same kind of grin.

Ivana inclined her head, "I am happy to be back. Your soups are very delicious."

"Merci, ma chere! Please stop by any time. I am happy to serve you in any way I can", he leaned toward her balancing one hand on the table and smiled, slow and seductive, "Alfred as well."

Ivana tilted her head the side and wondered how handsome he would be if she yanked his arm out from under him and he fell face first into the table. He probably wouldn't look so handsome with a broken nose. She was saved from answering and the temptation by Alfred's arrival.

"Ivana! It's so nice to see you!"

"Hello Alfred," she said with a small smile.

"I see you've met Francis."

"Not exactly, we were just getting acquainted," interjected Francis, still leaning on the table, but now his body was turned toward Alfred the smile still on his face.

Alfred stood next to Ivana's chair, he gestured toward Francis, "This is Francis, he is co-owner and head chef of the Café," He placed a hand on the back of Ivana's chair, "This is my friend Ivana."

Francis held out his hand and Ivana shook it. Francis took the opportunity to clasp her hand with both of his. Beside her she felt Alfred stiffen.

"What's going on over here?" A short man with sandy blonde hair came over and Ivana recognized him as the waiter who had thrown the arguing couple out on her first visit, Arthur. Ivana used the distraction of Arthur's arrival to pull her hand from Francis's grasp.

"I was just introducing Francis to Ivana," said Alfred, "Ivana this is Arthur. He runs the front of the house."

Arthur sent her a sharp, evaluating look. She met those hard green eyes with a cool stare of her own. "A pleasure," she said.

Arthur nodded shortly and turned to glare at Francis, "There are orders waiting to be filed, frog. Stop acting like a lecherous lickspittle and get back to the kitchen."

Francis turned away and began to argue with Arthur; together they walked back to the kitchen.

Once they were gone Alfred sighed and wiped a hand over his forehead in mock relief. "Sorry about that," he said with a laugh, "Arthur's one of my best friends but he and Francis can be kind of intense to meet sometimes."

Ivana smiled slightly, "It is no problem. Are they always like that?"

Alfred chuckled, "Yeah, you get used to it after a while. Arthur's not really pissed off all the time. He just loses his temper easily when Francis flirts with people." He leaned close to her and said quietly, "They're, you know," he glanced at the empty tables around them and said, "Together. They're a couple."

"Ah, that does explain a lot." She paused, "So does Francis, act like that often or just around Arthur?" Either way it sounded like an exhausting relationship to be a member of.

Alfred grinned and said, with a hint of exasperation, "Yeah, he's like that with pretty much everyone. It's just him, ignore it."

She nodded and silence lasted between them for a moment until Arthur snapped, "Well don't just stand there git, take her order." Alfred turned aside and they saw Arthur standing behind Alfred. He looked at Ivana, "You do intend to order, don't you?"

Ivana stiffened at his tone but Alfred laughed, "Alright I got it Arthur. We were just talking."

Arthur huffed his skepticism but walked away to serve a customer who had just sat down.

Alfred turned back to her and grinned, "Black coffee?"

Ivana was still bristling from Arthur's rude tone, "Excuse me?" she asked, her voice harsh.

"Coffee, you want some?" Alfred asked, pantomiming holding a coffee cup, his face a little apologetic.

Ivana mentally kicked herself, "Дa please," she said her tone softer.

Alfred nodded and went to get the coffee pot. When his back was turned Ivana grimaced, why did she always act stupid around him? She didn't like Francis hitting on her, and she couldn't really blame Arthur for being annoyed. But that wasn't Alfred's fault in anyway. Alfred returned and filled her coffee cup.

"What would you like to eat?" he asked.

"Um, I'm not sure. I was thinking, since its rainy today, would you like to eat lunch together in here?"

Alfred looked surprised, "Uh, sure. So you don't want anything in the mean time?"

"Ivana smiled, "No, I'll wait for you."

He returned it, "Okay."

When 1:30 rolled around Alfred came over to refill her coffee cup for the fourth time and take her order for lunch. At two he brought her lunch and something Francis had thrown together for him in the kitchen. Their lunch was silent as Alfred ate and Ivana picked at her food.

"Is something wrong?" Alfred asked, "Was it something Arthur or Francis said? If they upset you I'll-"

"No, it's not them, don't worry I can take care of myself. I'm just, sorry about being rude to you."

"Huh?" he asked tilting his head to the side.

She frowned in confusion, "Earlier. It's not your fault if your friends are-" She bit her lip.

"Weird?"

She hesitated but his smile coaxed it out of her, "I was going to say insane."

Alfred laughed out load. "Ha! This is true. Yeah, they're weird and kind of crazy at times but they're my friends. Just like you." He shrugged.

Ivana blinked, she had to admit that Alfred had a point, how was a socially awkward woman any stranger as a friend than a gay man with anger problems. She grinned, "I suppose we all have our oddities."

Alfred laughed again, "Yeah, we weirdos need to stick together."

"Yes, I suppose we do."

* * *

><p><span>Authoress Exposition<span>:  
>Oh, Ivana with your polite face and physically mutilating thoughts. So you meet Ivana's roommates, and yes, Lovi does visit a therapist. I figured it was about time the girl got the chance to have someone who will listen to her, because, well I thought it would be funny to say that her having a foul mouth is a protective mechanism.<p>

**Important**:What did you guys think of the conversation between Ivana and Alfred when their at the beach? Was it too much, too OOC in a bad way, too weird? I'm worried it seems forced, like a really bad joke that only I will think is funny. Please review and let me know because I'm genuinely concerned about it.

So, pairing count so far: Ivana and Alfred (coming soon), Francis and Arthur (established), Lovina and Antonio (established), and, since I'm sure you want to know who Feli went on the double date with: Feliciana and Gilbert (established for now).

As far as the pairing for Feliciana goes I'm working with two compulsions. On one hand I have my sister M, who wanted me to mix the Vargas sister's pairings up a bit because Spamano and GerIta are so popular and she'd just like to see something a little different. On the other hand I'm a big fan of Spamano and as I was writing this story I was also talking to webcomix an author (who is a wonderfully beautiful and entertaining writer, you should read their stuff) about how much we love Spamano so, for this story, Spamano it is. But I must agree with M, cute as it is, GerIta bores me to tears so I'm going to play around with Feli's romantic life and we'll see who she ends up with. I have an idea but it isn't definite yet.

Can anyone figure out who Lovina's abusive ex-boyfriend is? (Originally I made him Sadiq but M is a big fan of Turkey and she complained until I changed it)

Also, one reviewer asked in what city everyone was living and chances are if one person was curious then there are probably a bunch more wondering the same thing. Honestly they're not really living a real-life city, more of a mixture of a few different ones. Sorry if that bursts anyone's bubble. The place I have in mind is too small and clean for New York City but it's located on the East Coast, in a state that borders Canada, on the Atlantic Ocean. So...go figure. Let's just call it: Cosmopolis, Fair State, USA. Or, you can imagine it in NYC if you want (I've never been to NYC so that's mostly why it's not taking place there).

One more thing: The word "Lickspittle" is another word for a brownnoser, kiss-up, or a fawning subordinate. I found it when I was perusing Merriam-Webster. org (yeah I play around on dictionary website when I'm bored) and thought it was so awesome I had to include it in Arthur's vocabulary, because it just sounded like him.

Long AN is considerably extensive. Thanks for reading and thank you for all the lovely reviews, faves, and alerts, they make me so happy. I look forward to hearing from you (especially about Ivana's and Alfred's conversation by the beach)!

Translations:  
>Russian: No<br>French: My dear  
>French: Thank you my dear<br>Russia: Yes  
>If there's a problem with the translations please let me know!<p> 


	4. Chapter 4: The First Time

Disclaimer: I, in no way claim any rights to or profits from Axis Powers Hetalia, those belong to Hidekaz Himaruya and the companies that print and distribute APH, and justly so.

* * *

><p>Chapter 4: The First Time<p>

Ivana like to have structure and order in her life, and soon her friendship with Alfred fell into a predictable pattern. On the weekdays when Alfred wasn't working, and they both had free time between classes, they would study in the campus library together. Then, if they were both heading home and it wasn't too windy, they would take the long way down the coastal trail and walk by the beach. On the weekends when he was working she would sometimes stop by the café for a cup of coffee and a quiet place to study. Francis didn't mind customers lingering if there wasn't a rush. He also stopped going out of his way to flirt with her but when he did make a pass Ivana ignored him. Arthur seemed to warm up to her a little, although he remained gruff and distantly polite, as if he was evaluating her for something.

She soon realized that Arthur seemed to consider Alfred like his little brother and was very protective of him, but couldn't quite understand why. As time went on she began to take note of little things about Alfred. How his hair was always slightly messy, especially one stubborn cowlick that seemed to defy gravity. How he would sometimes slip into a "southern" accent when he was excited or angry. Ivana also noticed that female patrons flirted with Alfred a lot, drawn by his good looks, friendly manner, and easy smile. It bothered her a little bit until she noticed that he wasn't very good at reading the atmosphere around him and almost completely oblivious to the attentions of the other women.

As August passed into September and September to October her relationship with Alfred deepened, and she found it easy to open up to him. Alfred liked to talk a lot but when he was quiet he was a very attentive and engaging listener. She learned that he had come to the city two years ago after growing up in a small town in West Virginia, his dreams of college and success too big to be contained. Since then he'd been working part-time at Francis's café to help pay his way through college. He often talked about his brother Matthew, who was attending college in Toronto.

In return she talked about her life in Russia before college and what had led to her desire to become an accountant. She told him about her sister and half-brother. She even talked a little about her parent's divorce, but she didn't go into detail. However, Alfred didn't push for more, even though she suspected that he guessed there was more, he just accepted it. She in turn grew used to his sillier tendencies and nearly began to find them as amusing as Alfred did himself.

Not that Alfred was always happy-go-lucky, and Ivana was soon able to detect when he was angry about something, even when he tried to hide it. Usually it was about Matthew, who seemed to be avoiding contact with Alfred lately; or his business classes, in which Alfred seemed to be struggling.

"It's just so boring!" he was saying one unseasonably warm late October day as they walked along the beach on their way back from a late study session in the library, "Rules for communication and even dressing. Why can't they just tell me what needs to be done and let me do it? Or it's all about theory. They make it seem more complicated than it should be. It's annoying as hell."

Ivana glanced at him, there was a brisk breeze coming off the ocean but bundled into her favorite coat and scarf, she was comfortable. Alfred was wearing his favorite bomber jacket and the wind had turned the tip of his nose and ears red. "Then why are you majoring in it?" she asked as much out of curiosity and to stop his ranting. This tirade was something she had heard many times before.

"Because no one will take you seriously in a huge business if you don't have a degree in it," he replied as if this fact were very obvious.

"Do you really want to work in a major business?"

"It's where the money is."

There was no arguing with that but it seemed odd for Alfred to be so focused on something like money. "You want to be rich?"

"Doesn't everyone?"

"Well…" she considered how to word it, "It just seems that you care about other things more than just making money."

He stopped and looked at the gravel and sand under their feet. "I don't know. Have you ever been to a small coal town?" she shook her head "Well, people there are dirt poor, like, literally dirt poor. All my life I've just heard that I need to do better than that. I need to get rich so I can be successful."

"But you don't like what you're studying," she paused "Don't you want to study something that interests you?"

"Well yeah."

"Then why don't you change your major?"

"Because I don't really know what my options would be if I changed it to something like archeology, or history."

"Have you looked?"

He glared at her, but there was no real anger in it, only frustration. He obviously hadn't thought this out much. "No," he admitted, "Besides if I was going to major in history or anthropology it would probably be a just a teaching job or something."

She hummed and looked out at the sun setting out over the water—letting him think about. After a while she said, "I'm sure there are rules and challenges for jobs in all kinds of fields of study, but it seems like those would be easier to endure if you were doing something you enjoyed."

He looked at her, "You've been reading Robert Browning or something like that lately, haven't you?" As they had begun to spend more time together Alfred had quickly learned about Ivana's interest in reading and discussing philosophy and theory.

Her lips curved in a small grin, "Perhaps, or perhaps I don't think you're the type of person to sell himself short."

Alfred looked away over the water, over the cliffs a few feet away and the footpath that led up to it and sighed. Then a slow smile emerged on his face and he looked at her, there was a bright light in his eyes that she had never seen before. It made her feel light and warm from her head to the tips of her toes.

"Hey Ivana, have you ever been to the top of that cliff?"

"What?" the feeling faded, "No…"

"Come on then!" he grabbed her hand and began pulling her up the trail.

"Alfred slow down!" He ignored her until they reached a large boulder at the top, near the edge of the cliff. They braced themselves against the boulder, catching their breath.

"Alfred, what are we doing up-" she gasped as a wave crashed against the cliff, the surf bursting upward. The breeze caught the spray as it flew into the air and blew it over them. Alfred was leaning into the spray, laughing as it blew around them. As another wave barreled towards the cliff he threw his arms in the air shouting "I'm gonna be King of the World!"

She couldn't help it, she laughed. As another wave broke over the cliff she raised her hands to catch the spray. Another wave broke and she turned away with a small yell as she got a splash of spray right in the face. Alfred laughed at that. She shoved him then jumped out of arm's reach. She began to twirl along the length cliff, her hands still raised to catch the spray. Alfred watched her from the rock, smiling; his hair in the wind and his coat open. She spun away, recalling a ballet jump from muscle memory. Then, as she turned back toward the rock, he was there. He lifted her up by the waist and spun them both, laughing.

He only got a few spins in until she made the mistake of putting her arms around his head and neck, accidentally smothering and blinding him with her breasts. He quickly set her down but didn't remove his hands from her waist. Her hands were braced against his chest. She smiled up at him; he was standing up hill from her and had the advantage of height for once. The only thing she could hear was the pound of the surf and a roar in her ears. Her world narrowed for a moment, focusing on Alfred and his warm hands on her waist.

Alfred looked drunk, not as if he was intoxicated, but as if he had just drunk the elixir of life. His cheeks were flushed and his hair tousled by the wind; his blue eyes were as bright as a summer sky. She must have been drunk on the exhilaration too, at least that seemed the only viable explanation that she could come up with for the next few months. Her hands curled around the lapels of his jacket. She pulled him close and kissed him.

He didn't react. She grip loosened and she was about to pull away, afraid she had overstepped a boundary that should never have been crossed, then he pulled her flush against him as he kissed her back. One of his hands caressed her lower back the other moving up to slide under her long pale blonde hair. She wrapped her arms around his neck. He tasted marvelous, like the sea breeze and mocha. She was about to break away when she felt something push against her lips, her lips parted slightly and Alfred's tongue slid against the edge of her lower lip. Ivana gasped and Alfred began to tease her, flicking his tongue against her mouth. Ivana reached up with one hand and tilted his head down to get a better angle, and deepened the kiss. After it seemed as if the earth had managed one whole rotation around them, they broke apart to catch their breath. Ivana leaned her head against Alfred's shoulder inhaling the scent of his cologne mixed with the smell of leather from his jacket. She felt the pressure of Alfred's arms around her and the warmth of his body heat. Ivana had never felt so warm before.

After a few moments Alfred's breathing became regular again and she looked up. Alfred was smiling down at her. He leaned his forehead against hers and whispered, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For reminding me of the promise I made myself when I moved to the city."

"What was it?"

"To never look back." Then he kissed her again until she felt like she was going melt. No tongue; just the pressure of his lips, a sweet, gentle kiss. She was sorry when he finally broke away. They stood there until the light from the sunset had almost faded completely. Only then, hand in hand, did they walk down the trail and back towards the campus housing.

They were halfway back when the alarm on Alfred's phone went off. Alfred fumbled with his pockets, seemingly reluctant to let go of her hand. Finally he found his phone and his smile was replaced by a look of horror.

"Oh shit!" He said starting to walk again, dragging Ivana along with him, "I'm going to miss my bus!"

"Run!" shouted Ivana, lengthening her stride.

Together they ran down the trail and passed the dark Café. At the intersection Ivana let her hand slip from Alfred's as he ran across the street toward the bus stop two blocks away. She watched as Alfred made it to the stop, began to get on the bus, then stopped and got off again. The bus drove off. Ivana waited until the light changed then she walked to Alfred who was walking slowly back toward the intersection.

He smiled at her tiredly, "Wrong bus. The driver said the one I wanted left just before I got there."

"I am sor—"

Alfred held up his hand, "It's not your fault. I lost track of time." His smile grew and the twinkle in his eye made her stomach flip flop. He reached out and took her hand "Besides, now I get to spend more time with you."

Ivana blushed, "What will you do now?"

Alfred sighed as they began to walk toward the intersection, hand in hand once more, "I suppose I could call a cab, or Arthur or Francis. They'd grouse about it but they'd give me a ride."

Ivana nodded, then she thought of something else, "Or you could stay with me."

Alfred looked at her, surprise on his face.

"You have an 8:30 class, Дa?" she said, "Stay at my apartment tonight and then you don't have to worry about finding a way home until tomorrow."

The light changed and they walked back across the street. "You sure you don't mind?" he asked.

She shook her head, "I have a spare bed in my room. You can sleep there."

"What about your roommates?" he asked.

"I don't think they will mind as long as you aren't walking around in your underwear or anything like that."

Alfred laughed and pressed close to her. "Sounds like a plan."

It had sounded like a good plan in Ivana's head. It had sounded like a good plan when she proposed it to Alfred. Now, as they approached her door, she was beginning to have second thoughts. What if Alfred read too much into her offer and assumed they would have sex tonight? She wasn't ready for that. She wasn't even sure if she was ready for Alfred, period. Ivana had never been in a relationship like this before. It felt wonderful, but she didn't know what to do!

Her thoughts were cut short as the door opened before she could take out her key.

"Oh, Hello Ivana!" said Feliciana.

"Hello," said Ivana, "Hello Lilli." She nodded toward the short girl standing behind her roommate.

"Hello," said Lilli with a shy smile.

"I was just walking Lilli to her brother's car," said Feliciana, behind Ivana a pair of headlights flashed. Feliciana turned toward the light and noticed Alfred, "Vie! Who's this? Is he your boyfriend Ivana?"

Ivana hesitated a moment, taken aback by the title, then she nodded, "This is Alfred," she gestured toward Feliciana, "This is my roommate Feliciana."

"Pleased to meet you," Alfred holding out his hand, "I've heard a lot about you."

"The pleasure is mine," said Feliciana shaking his hand enthusiastically, "I'm surprised I haven't seen you around before. Are you staying the night?" She grinned slyly at Ivana who blushed.

"Yes, but he just needs a place to sleep. He missed his bus. Do you mind?"

"Nope!" Feliciana's sly grin grew, "Just try to keep it down, okay?"

Ivana opened her mouth to protest but the headlights flashed again. Feliciana sighed and grabbed Lilli's hand, "We better go before he starts to worry about you," she said with a huff.

Lilli grinned apologetically, "Yes, it doesn't take much to worry my brother. Thanks for having me over Feli."

"Anytime!" Good night Ivana. Good night Ivana's boyfriend. Don't have too much fun!" Then she bounced away, Lilli in tow.

Ivana pushed open the front door before it could close in her face. Alfred followed behind her chuckling as sounds of Feliciana squabbling with a man rose from the parking lot.

"Sorry about that," said Ivana as she took off her coat.

"Sorry about what?"

Ivana scrutinized him but Alfred just blinked, "Nothing."

They walked into the hall and Ivana unlocked her bedroom door and blanched. When she had moved into her bedroom the two single beds had been pushed together to make a double, she had kept it like that because she liked the extra room. Now the double bed was suggesting a whole new set of possibilities than just room to stretch. She half turned toward Alfred torn between pushing him out of the room and explaining the bed situation. If he saw the beds would Alfred think she was some slut who just wanted a quick lay?

"Oh," said Alfred as he came up behind her, "You have the beds pushed together. Well, we could just pull them apart" He walked passed her into the room, "They're singles right?"

Before she could say anything he went to the right hand bed, untucked the double bed cover sheet and pulled the bed further to the right, creating a space of several centimeters. The he straightened and grinned at her, "I'll fix it tomorrow morning before I go" then he frowned, "Is something wrong?"

Ivana blinked and shook her head, "No I was just, um, not sure how we were going to sleep tonight. But you're solution looks like it will work fine. Do you mind if I use the bathroom first?"

Alfred shook his head and Ivana turned around and walked into the bathroom. When she was finished she found Feliciana leaning against her the doorframe to her room talking to Alfred.

"Vie, there you are. Alfred was just telling me how you met."

Ivana rubbed her forehead, "Yes, it was a few months ago."

"Are you alright?" Alfred asked.

"I'm just tired."

Feliciana bade them goodnight again before walking into her own room. Alfred went the bathroom where Ivana directed him to borrow any dental care products he needed except her toothbrush, she didn't think she would ever be ready for that stage of a relationship with anyone.

After shutting the bedroom door behind her Ivana began to change into her pajamas. As she pulled off her turtleneck she studied the beds. It wouldn't be so bad. There were several centimeters of space between the beds. Alfred wouldn't be able to sleep with a sheet though, and while she had sanitized the surface of the mattress when she'd moved in, it was a college dorm mattress, who knew what people had been doing on it before she moved in.

Ivana was pulling her nightgown over her head when another thought occurred to her. She didn't have an extra blanket. She froze. Should she offer to give her comforter to Alfred, or share it with him? Her thoughts were broken by a scream and sudden, frantic banging on her bedroom door. Ivana tugged the nightgown over her head and opened the door without bothering to straighten it.

As soon as she had unlatched it the person knocking burst the door open almost colliding with Ivana as they tried to enter. Ivana blinked as Lovina stumbled into the room, nearly falling when as she brought herself abruptly to a stop.

"What—", Ivana began.

"There's a man in the bathroom!" Lovina gasped her eyes wide in panic, "How did he get in there?"

"He's my—"

"Vie…why are you shouting Lovi?" mumbled Feliciana as she came into the hall rubbing her eyes.

Behind Lovina the bathroom door opened, "Is everyone okay?" Alfred asked his brows furrowed in concern.

"Oh hello Alfred," chirped Feliciana.

"You know him?" Lovina shrieked.

"He's my boyfriend," said Ivana, her voice tight.

Lovina didn't seem to register what Ivana had said, she rounded on her sister, "Why didn't you tell me there was a guy here?"

"I did."

"No you didn't!"

"Yes, I did. I told you when you got out of bed to use the bathroom, but you were half asleep and didn't listen to me."

Lovina opened her mouth, then she closed it. Her cheeks turned bright, glowing red. She covered her face with her hands and muttered, "Oh fuck me."

"The bathroom's free if you want it," said Alfred. He walked passed her and into Ivana's bedroom.

Lovina waved a hand in thanks and walked into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. Feliciana shook her head and went back into her room. Ivana was about to turn back into her room when the door of the bathroom cracked open, revealing a sliver of Lovina's face.

Lovina met Ivana's eye then looked away, "Sorry about that," she said.

Ivana nodded and Lovina closed the bathroom door again. Ivana closed her own door and leaned against it.

"Are you alright?" Alfred asked.

"I'm fine," she smiled, "It's just, this night is turning out to be more dramatic than I thought."

"Is your roommate alright?"

"Embarrassed, but other than that, I think she'll manage to get over her shock." Ivana's eyes drifted toward the bed. "Alfred, I don't have an extra blanket, and I've been thinking. You really should sleep with a sheet on your bed."

"I'll be fine. I'll just use my coat."

"But you don't know what sorts of people have been sleeping on that bed before me."

Alfred looked from her to the mattress and back again. "You've got a point. I don't want to get crabs or anything. You sure you don't mind sharing a bed? It will be a little cozy with the two of us on there."

"No, I don't mind." As the words left her lips Ivana realized she meant it. She really didn't mind sleeping in the same bed as Alfred. She smiled and went to her closet, "You can use my coat as well. It's longer."

Alfred pushed the beds back together and Ivana fixed the sheets. As she was laying her coat over the edge of the bed she said, "Do you want me to put the lights out?"

"No I'll get them."

Ivana climbed into bed and rolled over onto her side, facing away from Alfred. She heard him walk across the room then the lights went out and her room was only illuminated by the light from a distant street lamp that filtered in through the blinds. In the safety of the darkness Ivana turned over and watched Alfred's silhouette as he walked back to the bed and took off his shoes and pants. Then he took off his glasses. Ivana rolled back over and felt the mattress dip as Alfred lay down and settled next to her.

"Ivana?" Alfred said, and Ivana felt a hand brush her lower back, as if he were trying to find her by touch alone. She stiffened and rolled onto her back.

"What?"

She couldn't see Alfred's face in the shadows but she could hear the grin in his voice, "Thanks for letting me sleep here tonight." Alfred's silhouette loomed closer and then she felt a light pressure on the side of her face, as if Alfred were trying to kiss her where he thought her mouth was. She turned her head and met his lips with her own; his breath was so warm against her skin.

"You're welcome," she whispered when they broke apart. She heard Alfred sigh contentedly and felt the warmth of his breath against her shoulder. She watched him lie down on the bed facing her, cloth rustled as he settled the coats over him.

"Goodnight," he said.

Ivana settled into her covers, lying on her other side so she was facing her boyfriend, "Спокойной ночи, Alfred."

* * *

><p><strong>Authoress Notes<strong>:  
>Very few this week. Nyah, these two can be so sweet together when they aren't fighting (am I rotting your teeth or what?). Sorry about getting it out to you all so late. I was writing this chapter and it kept going, and going, and going. But I hope you enjoyed the kissy scene! *muwah!* They are now an established couple. Thanks for all the great reviews, alerts, and faves. Please review, I love hearing from all of you. And thank you especially to those who have reviewed to every chapter so far. I'm so glad everyone is enjoying this story.<p>

For everyone who guess that Lovina's abusive ex-boyfriend was based of Benito Mussolini you are correct. Cyber brownies for you!

Also, a quick note about Ivana's love of philosophy. It's a personal opinion of mine that Ivana would like reading about and discussing philosophical and political theory (like Marxism, for example) because it's complex and engrossing. Now, Robert Browning is not a philosopher, but an English poet who lived in the Victorian era. However, his poetry is very philosophical and offers wonderfully complex examples of human nature written in what's called the dramatic monologue. If you're curious about him I would recommend "The Bishop Orders His Tomb at St. Praxed's Church" and "Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came". They are two of his best poems and also illustrate Browning's own personal philosophy that Ivana was applying to Alfred in this chapter, "There is success in failure and failure in success." But I could ramble about poetry forever.

Important: The next chapter should be out on time (So Friday/Saturday). It's currently in the works, which is partly why this one is so late, and it promises to be another long one too. I'm getting close to the end and it's already over 4000 words long. I'm considering breaking it up, but it all flows well together and centers around Thanksgiving break (you get to meet Ivana's cousin and his friends, plus hints about what's going on with Matthew). Do you guys want me to split it up or do you not mind another long chapter?

1 Russian: Goodnight


	5. Chapter 5: Fear Part 1

Disclaimer: I, in no way claim any rights to or profits from Axis Powers Hetalia, those belong to Hidekaz Himaruya and the companies that print and distribute APH, and justly so.

* * *

><p>Chapter 5: Fear<p>

Ivana skimmed through the text messages in her inbox, checking to see if there were any she needed to keep before she emptied it. One, dated October 26, made her smile, it read: "I didnt want to wak u. Thnx 4 leting me sleep over. C u 4 lunch the cafe? My treat ;)" She decided to keep that one a little longer. It was sentimental action; not a compulsion Ivana usually obeyed. But, ever since entering into a relationship with Alfred three weeks ago, Ivana found herself doing things she wouldn't under normal circumstances. It felt odd, nice, but odd.

When finished she pressed delete and turned back to her computer to work to read one of the business journal articles for her Principles of Marketing class. But a few words later the sentences became indistinct as her mind wandered back to Alfred. After their first night in Ivana's bed they had spent almost all their free time together, separating only when class, sleep, or Alfred's work schedule demanded it. But Alfred had never spent the night at in her dorm room again. She had never been to his apartment, nor did she want to go that far. Ivana was having a good time but, if she was being completely honest with herself, she was scared; and she hated it.

But at the same time she was so happy. Being with Alfred, seeing his smile, feeling his touch, hearing his voice, kissing him, it was the highlight of every day. Ivana sighed and sat back on the uncomfortable dorm-issue wooden chair, stretching her long legs as far as she could under the desk. That's what didn't make sense. How could she feel joy and fear at the same time over one situation, it just didn't add up.

Perhaps it was because she was spending so much time with him. On one hand she liked it, anticipated it; she savored it. On the other hand it felt almost as if as the center of gravity in her world had transferred from herself to Alfred. For weeks she had shared almost all of her meals and spare time with him. They'd gone to movies, to see live music, out to dinner, and taken many walks down the Coastal Trail to walk by the beach. But Ivana was beginning to feel a little smothered, and worse, her grades were beginning to suffer.

Which brought her back to her current predicament. Ivana sat up and moved her chair closer to the desk. She needed to finish this article tonight so that she could write a short, three page essay applying the theories outlined in the article to economic aspects of Communism. With the extra credit from this essay she should be able to pass this class with an 'A'.

Ivana had reached the end of the second page when her phone rang. Hoping and slightly dreading it was Alfred she glanced at the caller ID and released a soft huff of annoyance. It read: Feliks Łukasiewicz. Her cousin, or to be more precise, second cousin. Ivana picked up the phone.

"Hello."

"Hello, I was just calling to tell you to, like, meet us at the restaurant at 3:30. It's the only time I could, like, get reservations."

"Very well, I'll be there."

There was silence a moment then Feliks said, as if struck by a sudden thought, "You don't have a car right? Like how are you going to get there again?"

"I can take the bu-"

"Buses don't run on the holidays sweetie," said Feliks. She heard the indistinct muttering of an unfamiliar voice. Feliks held the phone away from his mouth to reply, there was more muttering, then Feliks seemed to bring the phone back to his mouth. She heard him sigh, "Why don't Toris and I just come and pick you up?"

Ivana considered it. Spend extra time with her annoying cousin Feliks and his enigmatic roommate Toris, but save money on a taxi. But wait; wouldn't it be the polite thing to repay Feliks for gas? But still, it would be cheaper than a taxi, and she didn't know exactly where the restaurant was anyway.

"Very well. I shall see you at three o'clock then."

"Alright, toodles. Oh! And before I forget, you don't mind if Toris's brothers come with us, do you? Something with their flight, like, got messed up so they had to rebook and so they'll be spending Thanksgiving with us."

"No. Goodbye." She hung up.

Thanksgiving break, she'd nearly forgotten. Ivana dreaded the upcoming Thanksgiving break for two reasons: Firstly she had been guilt-tripped into spend it with Feliks, her only relative on this continent, by her mother since there was no point in flying back to Russia for the break to just turn around and fly back the day after. Secondly, Alfred would be leaving for three days to visit his family in West Virginia. Ivana growled, thinking about her second dread just opened the door to another pile of confusing emotions.

On one hand she would miss Alfred a lot. They had never been separated for more than a day since they'd started dating and she'd quickly become accustomed to having him near her, mostly because Alfred insisted that they spend nearly all their free time together. On the other hand, it was the perfect opportunity to take a step back and examine her relationship with Alfred with an objective eye, find the source of her discomfort, then formulate a way to remedy that discomfort. It would also be the best time to get homework done. Her roommates were going to spend all of the Thanksgiving holiday at Lilli's house with their boyfriends, their boyfriend's friends, and Lilli's family. She would have the whole apartment to herself for an entire day. It was going to be wonderful.

Alfred was excited for the break too. He hadn't visited his mother or seen his brother since he went down in July for his birthday; and family holidays like Thanksgiving were very important in his family, especially after his father died when he was seventeen. But like Ivana, Alfred was also gloomy about the separation, even though it was only going to be three days.

"But other than going down for Thanksgiving I need to go down to see Matt," he'd said a few days ago.

"I thought your brother lived in Toronto," she's replied.

"Yeah, but, I think I've told you, Matt's been avoiding me lately. Like, when I call him we don't talk as long as we used to and he's always the one making the excuse that he can't talk very long. He also never texts me anymore."

"People do grow apart as they get older Alfred."

"I know, but you don't understand," he explained, "Matt and I tell each other everything. We were like this" he held up his hand, crossing his middle finger over his first finger, "when we were growing up. I can tell he's hiding something from me, and I'm going to do my damnedest to find out this weekend."

Ivana pushed the memory away with the shake of her head. Alfred would be flying down tomorrow when Thanksgiving break started, she would have plenty of time to worry about their relationship then. Now she had to finish her homework.

* * *

><p>On Thanksgiving day Ivana woke up to indistinct voices and thumping, her roommates must be up and about.<p>

"Дерьмо", she muttered as she rolled over to look at her alarm clock, certain she had slept in too late and now would have to wait until Lovina spent her daily hour in the bathroom before she could use it. The glowing, digital clock face read 8:00 AM. Ivana blinked, then she smiled. Feliciana had told her the night before that she and Lovina would be getting up early so they could go to her boyfriend's cousin's house where they would spend the whole of Thanksgiving Day with their boyfriends, Gilbert and Antonio, and Gilbert's family; which apparently included Lilli and her uptight brother Vash. Ivana rolled over and pulled the heavy comforter over her head to muffle the sounds of her roommate's comings and goings. She'd earned a morning to sleep late.

When Ivana finally rose it was 10:30 and the apartment was silent. She couldn't help grinning, as nice as it was to have such exuberant roommates Ivana couldn't help but revel in making the apartment space one with her presence alone. She fixed herself a late breakfast before taking a long, steamy shower. By then it was noon and she settled down to work on her extra credit essay until 2:30 when she would need to get ready for dinner with "cousin" Feliks and company.

At that thought Ivana sighed, blowing her bangs upward, as she remembered the conversation with her mother last week that had lead to her current dinner plans.

"He's actually my cousin's son," her mother had said, "Your great aunt and uncle's families moved to America from Poland shortly after WWII ended, before the Iron Curtain went up. I actually didn't meet my cousin until 1992 after the USSR collapsed. You were there, but you probably don't remember it. Call Feliks, Ivana, he's the closest thing to family you've got over there. You should value it."

Ivana didn't remember. But she'd only been three years old at the time. The conversation with her mother had made Ivana a little sad, in a way because those must have been the happiest years of her family's existence, the pre-divorce years. But the only memories she had were few and vague.

But just as it made her sad it also made her angry. Just thinking about the hypocrisy of her mother's words filled her with irritation now. She couldn't help but wonder at her mother's newfound appreciation for "family connections", especially with near strangers. Perhaps it meant she actually missed her daughters. After graduating from university last year Ivana's sister, Yekaterina, had moved to the Ukraine where a job requiring an agriculture degree was waiting for her. Their mother hadn't been very perturbed by this, and she'd been pleased that Katya had gotten a job so soon after finishing university; something she had not been able to do until years later, as she'd often reminded both her daughters since they entered secondary school. As if it was their fault somehow. Ukraine wasn't far from Belarus either, but when Ivana announced that she was going to spend a year in America she might've well announced that she was going to the moon for the shocked and wounded reaction her mother had given her. But of course, Ivana reflected nastily, it's hard to value what you have until it's gone. Ivana's father hadn't said much on the matter, just told her to call him if she needed anything; he had connections at the Russian embassy.

Suddenly Ivana didn't want anything to do with families or family holidays, she slouched down in her desk chair and crossed her arms over her chest. Not only did she have no one to spend it with, she couldn't help but feel like a criminal because she didn't. Her thoughts drifted to Katya, the only real family she'd been able to rely on her whole life, the only person who had made "family holidays" bearable after the divorce. Ivana felt an ache of homesickness deep in chest for her older sister. She hadn't realized until now just how much she missed her. They talked every week of course but she found herself yearning for more than just a phone call or skype conversation could provide. But, in three weeks she would be going home for Christmas break. At that thought she sat up and a small smile formed. To be in Russia, speaking her native language, and spending time with her sister…Ivana found her eyes sliding to the calendar on the wall. There were only three weeks until Christmas break began.

With this knowledge in mind Ivana stretched and opened up a word document so she could begin her essay. She had about an hour and a half, she shouldn't waste it.

She lost track of time in her studies and when she finally looked at the time it was 2:40 PM. Quickly she saved her draft and rose to pick out the clothes she would wear to dinner. Feliks had told her the restaurant was rather dressy so she picked out a loose, white silk blouse and black, boot cut slacks. After running a brush through her hair she put on her jewelry and light makeup. She was just pulling on her black suede boots when her cell phone rang. It was Feliks.

"We're here," he said.

"I'll be right out." As she walked out of her door, tucking her clutch under her arm, she noticed she had two text messages. She opened her inbox and saw they were both from Alfred. The first one was dated November 24, 4:43 AM, it read: "Just got to wv. I hate redeyes". The second one was dated November 24, 12:55 PM, it read: "HAPPY THANKSGIVING!" Alfred must have sent her the first text message because he didn't want to wake her, he must have sent her the second one when she was in the bathroom and she hadn't heard it. As Ivana neared the unfamiliar bright pink mini-coupe that could only belong to Feliks, she felt a sharp stab of guilt. Alfred had texted her twice in one day, whereas she hadn't even thought about him once. She was a terrible girlfriend.

Ivana wasn't given much time to dwell on this as she reached the mini-coupe and Feliks rolled down the window. He looked her up and down, "I didn't realize you were this tall. Will you be able to fit?"

Ivana repressed a sigh, "It would be better if I could sit in front."

Feliks turned to address his passenger, "Do you mind like riding in the back Toris?"

The passenger side door opened and Ivana walked around to it as a man with shoulder length brown hair got out of the car. He smiled at her as he held the door for her, "I'm Toris Lorinaitis."

"Ivana Braginskaya," she said.

"A pleasure to finally meet you Ivana," he said as he leaned the passenger seat forward so that he could crawl into the back seat. Ivana waited until he was installed back there before squeezing into the front passenger seat and closing the door.

It was decidedly cramped. Even with the added leg room of the front seat Ivana's knees were still bent an inch over the edge of the seat. Ivana had just put on her seatbelt when Feliks sped out of the parking lot and down the street.

"We need to get there before Eduard and Raivis," he was saying, "Just in case they get lost on their way from the hotel. This place is a little hard to find."

"Where are we going again?" asked Toris.

"It's a classy little place called Diamond in the Rough. It's, like, a real hole-in-the-wall restaurant, and it's located like right next to the seedier part of town, but it's soooo good! Appropriate name, amIright?"

Ivana ignored most of this and returned her attention to her cell phone. She glanced at the two text messages from Alfred before replying to the "Happy Thanksgiving" one. "I'm so happy that you arrived safe." she continued, ")) Happy Thanksgiving to you too. I hope you have a safe flight back tomorrow."

After pressing send she couldn't help but grin as she remembered Alfred's initial confusion at her use of the eyeless emoticons. At least he was used to them now, although he still adamantly refused to use them despite her argument that they took less time than texting out American emoticons. Alfred hadn't had much of an argument after that and just pouted instead. Ivana's grin widened; he was so cute when he pouted.

She was drawn out of her reminiscence when an elbow jabbed her side. She looked up to see Feliks grinning slyly at her out of the corner of his eye, "Like, what's got you so happy?"

Ivana realized with a slightly disturbing feeling of déjà vu that it was very similar to the sly look Felciana adopted whenever Ivana spoke of Alfred around her. She felt a slight pang of irritation. First Francis, then Feliciana, and now Feliks; how did she get to know so many people who made such a point of teasing her about romantic relationships? "I was just sending my boyfriend a text message to wish him Happy Thanksgiving," she said tersely.

"Hey, there's no need to, like, get pissy about it," Feliks replied, "That's totes cute. I didn't realize you had a boyfriend. What's his name?"

"Alfred…F. Jones," she replied.

"Hmm…Like, I don't think I know him."

"He's a college student."

"That explains it!" he said cheerily as he turned into the parking lot.

As soon as the car was parked Ivana unfolded herself from the front seat and walked around to work the stiffness from her legs. She was just turning to walk back to Feliks and Toris who were searching for Felks's purse when she heard it: "Юрий! Я не ожидал увидеть вас сегодня!" Her head swiveled from side to side and she took a few steps forward, skirting a patch of ice so she could peer around a peeling wooden fence. On the other side were a few drab storefronts and the entrance to a brick building where a man's voice was replying, "Никто не работает сегодня. Это американский праздник, помню" as the door shut behind him. Above the door a neon sign flashed, "Stolichnaya" in white letters outlined in red. Ivana felt a grin spreading across her face again. It had been just a sliver of Russian but it made her feel irrationally happy, as if the thousands of miles between her and Moscow were gone.

"Ivana!" Felks called.

Ivana turned around, casting one glance back toward the address on the side of the building. She would have to come back to this place.

"What were you looking at?" he demanded as she approached the entrance to Diamond in the Rough.

"Nothing, there's just a Russian bar over that fence."

"That makes sense", explained Toris, to Ivana's surprise, "This is the part of the city that is the most ethnically diverse. There's actually a Lithuanian restaurant a few blocks from here that serves really good cepelinai."

"Can we, like, go inside already!" Feliks burst out, "I'm freezing my Gucci's off out here."

Toris smiled and opened the door. Ivana glanced down as Feliks scurried inside ahead of her and sure enough he was wearing a modish pair of black satin pumps. Curiosity struck her and a quick glance at Felik's handbag as he walked over to the hostess confirmed that it was also Gucci. Ivana shook her head slightly, a small smile on her face; she wondered if her mother would have pressed a connection with her cousin Feliks so hard if she had remembered how flamboyantly gay he was.

In less than five minutes they were seated. They had just finished ordering drinks when two more men, one tall with straight, dirty blonde hair and glasses and the other very short with curly dark blonde hair, approached their table, their cheeks flushed from being outside.

"Sorry we're late," said the man with glasses as he sat down.

"It's no problem," said Toris, "We just ordered drinks."

"Waitress!" Feliks called, raising one hand in the air.

"Ivana," said Toris, turning slightly toward her, "This is my second eldest brother Eduard and my younger brother Raivis. Eduard, Raivis, this is Feliks's cousin Ivana Braginskaya."

"Pleased to meet you," said Eduard as he picked up the menu.

Raivis smiled, "Are you Polish too? I didn't realize that Feliks had such a beautiful cousin."

Ivana returned his smile politely, "Actually he's my second cousin, and no, I'm Russian."

"Oh," said Raivis, "I'm sorry about that."

Ivana raised her eyebrows, opening her mouth slightly; about to reply when the connotations of what he'd said suddenly occurred to Raivis.

"I mean. I'm sorry that I assumed you were Polish," he babbled, "I have nothing against Russians their all very, er, nice people. I just, er, ouch." His head shot toward Eduard whose attention seemed to be wholly consumed in his menu.

"No offense taken," Ivana said cooly, "Just a slip of the tongue, Дa?"

"Heh, yeah." Raivis buried his head in his menu and said no more.

After the waitress came to take their orders for dinner there was a slightly awkward silence around the table until Toris said, "So what are you studying Ivana? Feliks said you were an exchange student at the university."

"I'm an accounting major. What do you do?"

"I'm a personal assistant to Feliks."

Feliks beamed, "I'm a wedding planner at Classic. It's an event planning agency. I'm the top planner there for weddings. Feel free to drop my name or Classic's name if you know anyone who's planning on getting married. I do every kind of wedding." He fished around in his handbag until he produced a business card, which his passed to her.

"Sure," said Ivana, taking the card and slipping it into her pocket. She took a sip from her vodka and glanced at Eduard and Raivis.

"I work in the IT department for the Ministry of Agriculture in Estonia," said Eduard, as he sipped his water.

"I'm a secondary school student," said Raivis, whose gaze was pinned to the table, "I graduate next year."

Silence slipped over the table until Toris spoke again, "So, Ivana, how do you like living in America?"

Ivana felt herself relax slightly under Toris's kind smile. He was like Alfred in a way, she decided; there was a sort of innocence about both of them that she couldn't help but be charmed by.

"I like it," she said and told them about when Alfred had asked her the same question a few months ago. "Another thing that I don't understand though is why the legal age to drink liquor is so high here." She tapped the side of her glass with her first finger, "I'm just glad that I'm twenty-one so I don't have to abide by their silly laws."

"Yes", said Eduard, "It is different isn't it." He turned to Feliks, "Feliks, why does your country have such strange laws for the legal drinking age?"

Feliks shrugged, "I don't know. Because they're, like, afraid of drunk drivers, I guess."

_Alfred would know_, Ivana thought as Toris and Raivis chipped in to the conversation. Her hand itched to open her clutch and get her cell phone so she could call and ask him. The week after their first kiss Alfred had switch majors from business to history and dropped all his business classes. He was still taking statistics, much to his annoyance, but he had thrown himself into the classes for his new major with a passion Ivana had never seen him display for any of his business classes. Lately she had never seen him happier than when he was explaining how some obscure aspect of American history influenced American culture today.

The rest of the dinner passed in companionable conversation about the oddities of American culture and things they missed about being in Europe until 5:30 when the five of them parted ways. Feliks and Toris dropped Ivana off at her dorm and she was truly sorry to be saying goodbye to them, Toris more so than Feliks but that wasn't the point, but many promises were made to call and do this again some time.

As the pink mini-coupe peeled out of the parking lot, Ivana unlocked her door and reflected that maybe this time her mother might have gotten something right.

* * *

><p><span>Authoress Note<span>:  
>Chapter five part 1, ta da! I decided it would be easier to split them up since chapter five is not only long but very dense with confusing emotions. Ah, and before I forget, ages:<p>

Francis: 26  
>Arthur: 25<br>Feliks:23  
>Toris:23<br>Gilbert: 23  
>Antonio: 23<br>Eduard: 21  
>Ivana: 21<br>Alfred: 20  
>Ludwig: 20<br>Lovina and Feliciana: 19  
>Lilli: 18<br>Raivis: 17

There I think that's everyone. If I missed someone please let me know. Chapter Five Part Two shall be up soon!

Oh, and to clear up any confusion, Feliks is Polish-American. Both his grandparents (Ivana's mother's aunt and uncle) and his parents are Poles. So ethinically Feliks is Polish but he was born in America.

Translations and Cultural Information:  
>1 Russian: Shit<p>

2 Russian: "Yuri! I wasn't expecting to see you here today!"

3 Russian: "No one's working today. It's an American holiday remember?"

4 Stolichnaya is a popular Russian brand of vodka. I imagine the sign to be the unofficial name of the bar as well as an advertisement of what beverages can be found inside, like a "Miller's" sign. If anyone gets my Women of the Otherworld reference you are my new best friend.

5 Cepelinai is a Lithuanian dish. It is a type of dumpling made from grated potatoes and usually stuffed with minced meat. They are usually served with a cream sauce and bacon.

6 Ivana would certainly think the U.S.'s drinking age is silly; Russia has no legal drinking age! The legal purchasing age, however is 18.


	6. Chapter 5: Fear Part 2

Disclaimer: I, in no way claim any rights to or profits from Axis Powers Hetalia, those belong to Hidekaz Himaruya and the companies that print and distribute APH, and justly so.

* * *

><p>Chapter 5: Fear<p>

There were times when being a several inches taller than the average man or woman was very useful. Now was such a time as Ivana scanned the crowded airport trying to find her boyfriend who had supposedly disembark ten minutes ago. Ivana was waiting near the entrance to security as people bustled by her. A couple with five children were blocking her line of sight, and she was stepped a few feet to the left she saw a mop of ash blonde hair weaving between other disembarkees to the far right of her. He was just passing by the security check point. Sparing one more moment to fix the location of the jauntily waving cowlick in her mind Ivana skirted the family of five, two couples, a group of minors, and one woman until she was within five feet of Alfred and he caught sight of her.

"Ivana!" Ivana was about to reply when she heard the thump of Alfred's carry-on bag hit the floor and felt strong arms wrap around her waist and pull her close. "It's so good to see you!" Alfred cried, hugging her so hard he lifted her off her feet.

"It is good to see you too," she gasped as he set her down and loosened his hold just enough so she could breath properly again. She slid her arms around his neck and leaned down to kiss him, his mouth was warm and tasted like cherry coca-cola. He returned the kiss enthusiastically as if they had been separated for three months rather than only three days. After a minute or two Alfred released her and picked up his bag. He slid his arm around her waist and they walked out to catch a cab.

"How was your flight?" Ivana asked as they walked over to a taxi that was disgorging a woman with five different suitcases.

"Long, do you mind stopping somewhere for a bite to eat? They didn't feed us on the plane and I'm starving."

"Not at all," Ivana replied as they got into the backseat. A sudden thought occurred to her, "Would you like to go to Stolichnaya?"

"Go to what?"

"Stolichnaya, it's a Russian bar over on Atwood Road."

Alfred grinned ruefully, "I'd say yes in a heartbeat but I'm only twenty, and I don't think you could pass for my mom."

"Oh," Ivana slumped against the seat in disappointment. She even felt like pouting a little bit.

"Well, if it's over on the seedy part of Atwood they probably wouldn't card me," Alfred said apologetically, "But, I tried that last year in West Virginia and the bar got raided. I narrowly escaped getting charged with minor consuming alcohol by climbing out the bathroom window. So I'd rather not repeat the experience if I have to."

Ivana was pouting now, she could feel it. It was actually kind of fun.

"But look on the bright side!" Alfred said quickly, "I'll be turning twenty-one on July fourth. We can go out and paint the town red."

With those words Alfred sucked all the fun from their conversation. Ivana had not considered staying in America beyond her exchange student term. She'd taken it for granted that she would return to Russia in May, probably for the rest of her life. Panic started to fill her chest, and she turned to look out the window to keep Alfred from seeing it on her face. She wasn't ready for this. When the school year ended how would she explain to Alfred that they would be breaking up for good?

On the heels of the panic came pain; Alfred. She felt him touch her elbow, as she looked up into his smiling face she realized with a shock that it would just as hard to abandon Alfred as it was to be separated from Yekaterina for four months.

"I told the driver to take us to the Boston's on B Street," He frowned slightly, "Have you ever been there before?"

She shook her head.

"You don't mind do you? It's a pizzeria and a sports bar so you could order vodka if you want."

She shook her head again, then because he still looked concerned she smiled wanly and said, "Its fine. If that's where you want to go it's fine with me."

"Great. You'll love it." His phone rang, "Let me get that. It's probably my mom checking to see if I've landed by now."

She nodded and stared at her knees as Alfred answered his phone. Finally she could name what had perturbed her so much since she and Alfred had gotten together nearly a month ago. Part of her happiness depended on Alfred, on being near him. His happiness was important to her.

They would have to break up in May. Ivana's hands twisted in her lap at the thought. It would be painful but they had no other option. Maintaining the delusion of a loving long-distance relationship would only cause them more pain in the long run, perhaps in May they would separate and could be friends, talk on the phone occasionally, remember what fun they had in college together. They would have a wonderful friendship, and at that thought it was all Ivana could do to keep from crying.

Ivana took a deep shuddering breath and counted silently to ten, ascending in Russian, then descending back to one in English. She didn't have to worry about this now. She had at least five months to work out a way of breaking it off with Alfred. Five months to close up the hollow of vulnerability she felt deep in her chest. She had never hated the prospect of something more.

"Hey." A large, tanned hand covered her own pale ones. She looked up into Alfred's concerned face. His eyes were dark with worry. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"No" was on the tip of her tongue but out of habit she bit it down before it could get away. If anything could be said of Ivana as she'd grown up she wasn't a whiner, she wouldn't complain; that self restraint was almost automatic now. She swallowed to buy time as Alfred rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb.

Finally she said, "It's has been a long semester. I am just very stressed about my classes…and I miss my family very much." That was mostly true.

"Oh," Alfred sighed and Ivana could see his taut body relax in relief, "I was really worried there. I've never seen you that upset. You looked like you were about to cry."

Shame filled her at how weak she must have looked a few moments ago. She looked down at her hands. Alfred squeezed them reassuringly.

"Did something happen on Thanksgiving? Did your cousin say something?"

"No, no. It's just…" she cast about for a way to explain without revealing too much because if she tried to explain anything about the divorce now she would probably start to cry and Ivana hated crying.

"It's okay," he said, his voice was so calming, "Just talk to me. Even if it doesn't make sense Just let it out."

"Thanksgiving," she said, "It is a family holiday, Дa? I usually spend holidays with my sister and I have not seen her, properly, for four months now. Being with my cousin and missing you," she smiled weakly, "It made me realize just how homesick I am."

"Oh," he said quietly. He took both of her hands in his own, "I'm sorry Ivana." His grin was self-mocking, "And here I am talking about my brother and how important holidays are to my family. God, I must have sounded like a total douchebag. I mean, I know you aren't on the best of terms with your parents but still, I could tell how much you care about your sister. I'm sorry."

"No," she said, slightly startled that he was taking such responsibility for something that was obviously her problem, "It's not your fault. I'm just being stupid. I'll see Yekaterina in a few weeks. I was just feeling sorry for myself, you know."

"Yeah," A small smile ventured on to Alfred's face, "Well if you ever feel like that again, don't hesitate to call me or text me or whatever. I don't care if I'm at work or class or whatever. I know we don't have much time to be together with finals and Christmas break on top of everything else. But I'm here for you babe." He paused for a second then said with a small grin, "And you're anything but stupid."

A weak chuckle escaped her and she squeezed his hands, "Thank you Alfred."

"Hey," said a gruff voice from the front seat, both Ivana and Alfred looked up in surprise to see the taxi driver peering at them from his rearview mirror. She had completely forgotten he was there, "Are you kids okay back there?"

Alfred laughed, "Yeah, we're fine." He turned to look out the window, "Oh, I didn't realize we were here."

Ivana looked up to see that they were indeed at a stop outside the restaurant. The taxi driver grunted.

"Sorry about that," said Alfred apologetically as he passed the man a twenty dollar bill, flashing him a winning smile.

The driver grunted again but his expression was softer as Alfred opened the door and held it for Ivana.

"You kids have a good evening," he said.

Ivana nodded as she reached up to take Alfred's offered hand, "And you."

The cab drove off. Ivana let her hand drop from within Alfred's, an awkward silence descending between them. Alfred looked as if he wanted to say more of what he'd said in the taxi but instead he just turned and led Ivana into Boston's. Ivana followed Alfred mechanically, still trying to digest their conversation in the cab.

She didn't want to break up with him. But his words gave her hope that perhaps when the inevitable came in May they would be able to rationally discuss the end of their relationship. As they reached the table and sat down, Ivana resisted the urge to bury her face in her hands. The only thing she did know is that she didn't want to talk about it now. The realization of her new vulnerability with Alfred was still too raw.

As soon as the waiter left with their drink orders, a Coke for Alfred and vodka cocktail for Ivana, she decided to break the silence with the safer topic of the Thanksgiving break. Hopefully it would distract them both from what had passed in the taxi.

"So," she said, "One thing my mother forgot to mention is how flamboyantly gay Feliks is."

"Oh yeah? Just how flamboyant is he?"

"He wore a pair of pumps to the restaurant." The conversation stilted, forced, as if they were talking around a great, big, white elephant that neither of them seemed ready to acknowledge. "They were very cute too."

"Oh, where did he buy them? If they gave you shoe envy they might solve my Christmas shopping dilemma." He smiled slightly and Ivana felt a little warmth run through her at that. She began to relax a little.

"I appreciate the thought but I doubt either one of us could afford them, unless we didn't want to go to school next semester. They were Gucci's."

"Whose's?" Alfred looked so confused that Ivana had to stifle a chuckle.

"Gucci is a very classy Italian label," she said, taking the vodka cocktail the waitress just set before her.

"Oh…Oh! I have heard of them. They make purses right?" He turned to the waiter, "I'd like the ultimate pepperoni pizza, a medium."

Ivana placed her own order before picking up the thread of their conversation once again: "And shoes and clothes and jewelry. But they are most well known for their shoes and handbags, yes."

"Oh, yeah you're right there's no way in hell I'd be able to afford a pair of Gucci shoes. Oh well." He shrugged apologetically.

"I appreciate the thought though."

"So where did you guys go to dinner?"

"Diamond in the Rough, over on Atwood Road."

"Ah, so that's where you found that Russian bar."

"Yes, it was like experiencing a bit of home again." Her lips curved in a small smile, "I feel so starved for my native language", she sipped her cocktail and made a small grimace of distaste, "And for some good, decent vodka."

Alfred chuckled "So was it just you and Felks?"

"No, actually his roommate Toris came too, and Toris's brothers who were visiting from Europe."

"So it was you, and three guys."

"Four, Feliks-"

"If he likes to wear heels he doesn't count."

Ivana sent him a skeptical look over the table separating them, "Raivis is seventeen. Eduard showed no interest in anything beyond technology and polite conversation, and Toris is a very sweet man who I suspect is, 'you know, together' with Feliks."

Alfred had the grace to look abashed, "Oh, well when you put it that way…" Ivana raised her eyebrows, "Sorry," he added hastily, "I just didn't realize that you were going to be having dinner with so many sophisticated European guys, I mean. You said you were homesick and well, you're gorgeous."

Ivana considered him a moment, but there was no sarcasm or nastiness in Alfred's face; just apologetic honesty. Besides she knew she'd started blushing the minute he'd said she was gorgeous.

Instead she said, "How was your flight? How is your family?"

Alfred's face lit up in big smile, "They're doing great. The flight was a pain in the ass. Matt managed to fall asleep but I never sleep good on airplanes." He leaned his chin on his hand, "I just get too wired to sleep whenever I fly. I like it, but I can never relax, you know what I mean?"

Ivana nodded. Alfred opened his mouth to continue but then the waitress returned to take their orders for dinner. After she left Alfred said, "Anyway, we got in after a layover in D.C. Mom picked us up from the airport and then we all went home and crashed. I slept in until about noon the next day. I made a few repairs around the house. There's a douchebag plumber in town who's been out to "fix" the downstairs toilet twice, but I think he was just out to gyp her because I fixed it in about an hour. But anyway, Mom cooked a huge Thanksgiving dinner. I ate until I thought I would explode then we all watched football and movies until I think I passed out on the couch. Then I woke up at about ten o' clock or so this morning, caught my plane at two whatever time it was, and here I am." He finished spreading his hands with a flourish.

"It sounds exhausting, are you tired at all?"

"Not really. But after we eat I'll probably crash like a ton of bricks." He laughed. "Speaking of which," He craned his head around, hand shading his eyes as if he were looking into the sun, "I wonder where the waiter is with our food."

"So how is your mother?" Ivana asked in an attempt to distract Alfred from the rumbling of his stomach, which even she could hear.

"She's doing good. Keeping busy. I swear, she must be involved with just about every community service project in that town. I guess that comes from being a widow with grown sons who live out of state. I think she's lonely though." He sighed, "It makes it hard to leave sometimes."

"How old is she?"

"Oh…shoot I should know this; forty-four, forty-five?"

"Ah, yes. I'm not surprised. I'm sure her sons are her whole world."

Alfred smiled softly into the table top but said nothing. At first Ivana thought she'd embarrassed him because he was also blushing. But when he looked up there was such a tender look in his eyes that she realized he agreed wholeheartedly and unashamedly with her statement. Alfred was very aware of his mother's love and reciprocated it. Ivana felt almost as if she was intruding on something very personal but at the same time she felt drawn to it because it was so unfamiliar and sort of beautiful. For a few minutes the table was silent as all they did was as stare at one another.

"Alright, medium pepperoni and oven-roasted salmon," said the waiter as he arrived at their table, balancing a large tray in one arm as he set their food before him. The tender look vanished as Alfred blinked and turned his full attention to the steaming pizza before him. Ivana leaned back, feeling as if she had just broken the surface after swimming under water. The waiter left and Alfred was already halfway through his first piece when she picked up her knife and fork to cut her salmon. For a few more minutes the only sounds between them were the clack of cutlery and chewing. Between his second and third slice Alfred seemed to decide he wouldn't die of starvation and said, "I want you to meet her."

Ivana blushed and bought time to think by chewing a forkful of rice and the rubbery broccoli very slowly. They would never have the opportunity, but she felt…gratified all the same. Finally she said, "I would like to. Perhaps we can arrange it some time."

"Totally," said Alfred through a bite of pizza.

After a few moments Ivana said, "So, did you have a chance to talk to your brother?"

Alfred's face fell; he looked down at the pizza before him as if he wasn't very hungry anymore.

"No," he said quietly, "I didn't get the chance to talk to him about it. But, I think I know what's going on, and if I'm right it's probably a good thing I didn't ask him about it in front of Mom."

Ivana leaned forward, "What happened?"

Alfred sucked in a deep breath as if he were psyching himself up to jump off the high dive, "Well, after Thanksgiving dinner I was working on unblocking the toilet in the downstairs bathroom so she wouldn't have to call that ass-plumber again. But I had to use the bathroom so I went to use the upstairs one and as I was about to go back down I wanted a piece of gum, and I remembered that Matt had been chewing some on the plane so I went into his bedroom to get some out of his sweatshirt pocket."

"Where was Matthew at the time?"

"Downstairs doing dishes. Anyway, I picked up his sweatshirt and start going through the pockets looking for his gum and suddenly it hits me."

"What?"

"Weed. Matt's sweatshirt smelled like weed. At first I thought I was just imagining it but I sniffed his sweatshirt and it smelled like marijuana."

"Are you sure?"

"Oh yeah, I even opened up his backpack—"

"Alfred."

"What? You don't think I have the right to know whether my brother is a pothead or not?"

"But you don't know if he really is smoking pot. For all you know he could have been to a party or something where they were smoking."

"You have a point, but his bag smelled like it too. And you know they're more lax about marijuana up in Canada."

"Did he smell like he was smoking? Did he look like he'd been smoking recently?"

"No, I don't think so. His clothes didn't smell like it, but I wouldn't be surprised if he washed them just to make sure they didn't smell. But this would explain why he's been avoiding me and why he's really grouchy for no reason when I talk to him sometimes. Like, we'll be talking about something boring like people we knew in high school or our classes and suddenly he'll get all angry at me for no reason and say he can't talk and hang up."

"What did you do after that?"

"I put his stuff back so it wouldn't look like anyone had been going through it." Ivana frowned at him; Alfred cradled his head in his hands, staring at the table top as if he couldn't bring himself to meet her eyes "I know I shouldn't have. I know I should've asked him about it but I think I was in shock. I didn't know what to do so I just went back downstairs and stared at that stupid toilet for about five minutes until I remembered what I was supposed to be doing." He sighed and poked at the pizza, "Even now when I think about it I still can't really believe it. My little brother might be a pothead, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it."

He broke off as their waiter came over, "Hey, how's it going? Anything I can get for you?"

Ivana glanced at Alfred who looked too miserable to respond, "We're fine thank you. We'll probably need our check soon." The waiter nodded and left.

An awkward silence descended over them, Ivana picked at the remains of her salmon. Alfred also seemed too preoccupied to eat and just stared at the table top but she had a feeling he looking at something else entirely. After the waiter came and went twice first with their check, then with boxes, he still hadn't moved.

"Alfred," she said gently, she had never seen him shut down like this before. She nudged the pizza box toward him. He took it and mechanically began to fill it with the leftovers from his dinner.

Ivana was taking out her wallet when he spoke suddenly, "It almost feels like he's not even my brother anymore. Like he's suddenly a total stranger." He looked up at her a panic edging into his eyes, "It's been eating away at me since I went to bed last night." He smiled wanly, "I only forgot about it when I saw you at the airport."

Ivana returned it with a wan smile of her own.

Alfred dropped the smile, as if it was too much effort to hold on his face. She had never seen him looking so lost or helpless. "I mean what can I do, Ivana?" he asked.

Ivana stared at him, her conflicting emotions from the cab all but forgotten in the face of the fact that, no matter what would happen to them in May, Alfred needed her now. She took a deep breath.

"Well, once I pay our check" Alfred opened his mouth to protest but she raised a hand to stop him, "You just spent hundreds of dollars on a airline ticket, I do not mind in the slightest." Alfred closed his mouth, "So," she continued, "once, I finish paying our check we will find a taxi and I'll take you home. You should put your pizza in the refrigerator and then go to bed. You are exhausted from traveling and lack of sleep, you are not thinking clearly. You will feel better in the morning and you will be able to think about this problem more rationally than you are now. Tomorrow, go to work, I will meet you at the Café at lunch time."

Alfred's brow was still knit in confusion and worry but he didn't argue. She let him think about it as she paid the check. When the waiter returned with her receipt she stood, Alfred following her example a few seconds later. He picked up their take out boxes and stared at the floor. Ivana reached out and took his hand.

"Alfred," she said softly as they walked out of the restaurant, "it will be alright." He looked up at her, his frown deepening, "I'm not saying that your brother may or may not be addicted to marijuana, you did smell it on his sweatshirt but you do not know for certain. You need to find out for certain before you start worrying about it. He is still your brother. Is your brother the kind of man who would become a marijuana addict?"

Alfred was silent a moment, then he said, "I know you're right. I just feel helpless, and I hate feeling helpless."

Ivana could relate to that, she gave Alfred's hand a reassuring squeeze. Alfred leaned forward and hailed an on-coming cab. As they got inside he said, "I know I need to stop stewing about it. But I just can't. Two stops," he added to the driver, "77 West Long Street."

Ivana took her box of half finished salmon from Alfred, trying to think of something to say. Then it struck her.

She turned to face him, "Alfred, why does the United States have such a high legal drinking age?"

Alfred looked utterly confused and for a moment Ivana thought that she'd said the wrong thing, then Alfred began to laugh. He laughed until he got the hiccups then he said, "Well, I wasn't- I wasn't expecting that exact-ly. But that should do it. It's a luh-long stor-y." He paused to take and hold a deep breath. When he released he continued, without interruption, "Are you sure you want to hear it?"

She smiled and leaned into his shoulder, "Yes, tell it to me please."

* * *

><p><span>Authoress Notes<span>:  
>I forgot this last time, here are the links for Feliks's shoes and handbag. Just copy, paste, and remove the spaces.<br>Shoes: http: /www. gucci. com/us /styles /258510F14001000 #  
>Handbag: http: www. gucci. com/us /styles /269940ECT0G1000 #

So what do you think? Are they too OOC? This chapter is a little dark, it's not too weird is it?

Hm...Boston's yummy. Oh, and thanks for all the great reviews, alerts and faves. I love hearing from all of you. Also, classes will be starting again soon so updates will become less frequent. But this story will be finished.

I don't think I forgot anything...let me know if I did.


	7. Chapter 6: Hold On

Disclaimer: I, in no way claim any rights to or profits from Axis Powers Hetalia, those belong to Hidekaz Himaruya and the companies that print and distribute APH, and justly so.

* * *

><p>Chapter 6: Hold On<p>

It rang once, twice. Then he picked up.

"Hey, how's it going?" Alfred asked, behind him Ivana could hear indistinct talking and the clatter of dishes and furniture.

"Привет дорогой," she said, "We're about to board and I wanted to call you before it got too late."

"Oh yeah, what time is it over there?"

Ivana checked the digital clock in the airport, "About 2:12 AM. What are you doing?"

"Cleaning up the Café." His voice dropped to a whisper, "Arthur's glaring at me so I can't talk long, even though we're closed and Ludwig, the other guys, and I have almost finished putting everything up for the night, and even though I haven't stopped what I was doing since you called." She could almost hear his eyes rolling in exasperation. Alfred's voice rose and took on a distant quality as if he were not speaking directly into the mouthpiece, "Hey Arthur, Ivana just called from London. She's going to be leaving soon so is there anything you want to say to your old hometown while you've got the chance? Give your regards to Broadway, or what?"

Ivana sighed as she heard distant sputtering on the other end and Alfred's laughter. After a moment or two he spoke directly into the phone again, "He told me to get 'my bloody ass back to work' so he can go home, so I'd better go." Ivana grimaced at the mental image Arthur's words had caused. When she didn't immediately reply Alfred seemed to consider them too because he said, "That's really gross Arthur, I did not need to hear about your personal probl- Hey watch it!"

Ivana took the phone from her ear just in time to avoid being deafened by a loud clatter as Alfred's cell phone hit the floor. After a minute or two of distant scuffling and shouts someone picked the phone up again.

"Hello? Ivana?" Alfred said breathlessly.

"What happened?"

"Arthur tried to hit me with his notepad."

Ivana sighed, "I need to go too. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Totally, I'll see you in about seven hours."

"You don't need to pick me up."

"No, I want to. I have something really cool to show you."

"Very well," she smiled, "I'll give you a call if I get delayed."

"Bye babe, have a safe flight."

"Thank you. До свидания , дорогой." She hung up, stood with a groan, and gathered her purse and carry-on. As soon as she made it to her dorm she was going to bed and she wasn't going to wake up until Monday morning when classes started again. Well, in a perfect world that's what she would do; since it was an imperfect world she'd probably just sleep until noon.

As Ivana stood in line to board the airplane her mind drifted back to Alfred's words: 'I have something really cool to show you'. It certainly must be something if he didn't mind meeting her at the airport at five o' clock in the morning. She couldn't deny that it would be nice to see him again, even though she would be tired, jet-lagged and mussed from nearly two days of travel from her father's house in Moscow to America. Not that Alfred would notice much, and care even less.

Ivana also couldn't deny that she had missed Alfred a lot more than she had expected. It was probably what had led her to calling him 'дорогой' when they talked on the phone or over Skype. Ivana blushed; she had never been so intimate with a man before. Of course she'd had male friends, and something like a relationship; but never had she called someone something so personal as 'darling' before. She'd never gotten that far; which was probably why it had been easier to start using the pet name over the phone rather than in person.

Ivana boarded the plane, sidling along the cramped compartment until she reached the row with her seat. She didn't have far to go; and settled into the last row of the business class, a decided improvement on her flight to Russia where she'd been crammed into the economy section between a burly man and a woman with sharp elbows. It had taken hours to work the cramps out of her legs. What she hadn't expected was for her father to reimburse her for her return ticket and pay to have it moved up to the first class seats as a Christmas present. The irony of the present also didn't escape her, as if her father was saying, 'I'm pleased you will be spending Christmas with your sister and me. As a gift I bought you a plane ticket back to America. Welcome home'.

Ivana shook her head as she lifted her carry-on into the overhead bin. Perhaps she should stop trying to read the actions of her parents; particularly her father. After fifteen years of trying she'd been mostly disappointed by her efforts. Well, that wasn't precisely true, Ivana understood her mother well enough and was disappointed more so by the results. It was her father who was the unreadable one. But, while some things back home were just as she had left them, some things had changed since she'd left Russia.

Ivana returned to Russia during the second week of December, giving her enough time to unpack and settle into her old room in her father's apartment before she went to the funeral of one of her former high school classmates who'd been killed the week before. At Anastasia's funeral she spent some time with the other two school mates that she'd been closest to in high school, Yekaterina and Pytr. But the circumstances of reunion, namely the vacuum created by Anastasia's death, had settled an awkwardness over all three of them. At first Ivana thought it was because they all missed Anastasia; but later that month, when they'd met up for lunch on her birthday, she realized that in the three years since graduating from secondary school they had grown up and grown apart. Pytr's curiosity about the world had matured into wanderlust. The day after Ivana's birthday he was going to the Netherlands for at least a month. Yekaterina's ambition had led her into government and politics, where Ivana could tell she was thriving, even if she had almost no life beyond her job. Ivana still cared for them, and had exchanged texts and a few emails since graduation and her transfer to the States, but that lunch date confirmed that they would never be as close as they had once been.

Ivana also saw less of her sister when she was in Europe. Since she was now living in the Ukraine, Yekaterina had only been able to visit for ten days. Giving them just enough time to celebrate Ivana's birthday, Christmas, and visit their mother and half-brother in Belarus. Ivana had been adamant that she would not stay there with only Nicolai for company.

Of the few things that hadn't changed Ivana was very disappointed to see that Nicolai was one of them. Except for the fact that he had gotten taller, but even the few centimeters he had gained only meant that the top of his head barely crested her shoulder. Ivana huffed in annoyance and leaned her head against the window frame. If anything, instead of three months separation dimming her brother's unfraternal adoration of her, it had made it worse.

"_Ivana!"Nicolai threw his arms around her, pinning her arms to her sides, and nuzzling his cold nose passed her scarf so that it touched her neck. Ivana had to fight the impulse to cringe away. "You're finally back." His grip tightened, "Never leave me like that again." _

_Trapped, Ivana's looked frantically around for Katya. After making eye contact with her sister, Yekaterina seemed to take pity on her and gently pried Nicolai's arms from about Ivana's chest._

"Ma'am…"

Ivana looked up, a blonde stewardess smiled down at her.

"We're about to take off," the stewardess drawled in an accent that didn't quite match Alfred's, "Please buckle your seatbelt," her smile stretched in a way that looked almost painful, and then she moved on.

Ivana buckled her seatbelt.

Once the plane was in the air Ivana leaned her seatback the scant centimeters she was allowed and after some fitful fidgeting went to sleep. She woke later when the blonde, smiling stewardess bustled by dispensing beverages and complimentary pretzels. Ivana glanced at her iPod; it was 2:46 AM. She'd been asleep for ten minutes.

Swearing colorfully in Russian she resettled herself, ignoring the shocked look of the elderly woman sitting next to her, and tried to go back to sleep. Her patience was worn thin but she was able to ignore the snoring of the man if front of her. She was mostly able to ignore the shrill giggles issuing from behind the curtain in the Economy class. The mutterings of the woman next to her as she read her romance novel were more difficult, but she managed because they were infrequent. Even the stewardess was easier to ignore because she had stopped moving around as much. Ivana grimaced as the woman finally walked away, taking her annoying overly done accent with her. Not that Ivana was any judge of American accents, but the woman's accent seemed forced. Unlike Alfred's, which just seemed more natural.

Ivana felt a smile form on her lips. She would see Alfred soon. At that thought she finally drifted toward sleep. Until a baby in the economy class started crying bloody murder. Ivana sat bolt upright, a curse on her lips. Then she slumped, burying her head in her hands. It was no use.

With a sigh she pushed her hair out of her face and reached down into her purse for the collection of Dostoevsky that she'd left behind in the fall. That would offer some distraction at least, and for a few minutes she lost herself in Dostoevsky's descriptions of St. Petersburg. She had been there once with her father and sister when she was seven, after the divorce had been finalized. It was one of the few happy memories she had from that time, mostly because of the city itself.

The words on the page began to drift out of focus as her mind wandered through memory. From Petersburg it drifted to Moscow. Ivana had missed her city very much. She had missed her language, the shops and restaurants she loved, the beautiful view from her father's apartment. She had been happy to be home. But at the same time something had felt wrong. She felt fidgety. At first she thought it was just the rush of trying to catch up with everyone she hadn't seen in months. But the feeling of unease continued to plague her, even after she'd been at home for two weeks, visited her favorite places, and spent time with her sister. On her way back from Belarus she had finally put her finger on it. Something was missing. But that realization was as far as she got, and after the realization the nagging feeling had only intensified.

Ivana sighed. At least by returning to school she would be able to bury herself in studying and forget about…whatever it was that she couldn't remember. Alfred would probably help as well. He was always a good distraction when she needed to get her mind off something. After that Ivana didn't remember her eyelids sliding shut. She didn't feel her collection of Dostoevsky's short stories slipping from her hand. She tired mind just obeyed the summons of her tired body, and she finally fell asleep.

* * *

><p>"Excuse me, Ma'am." A hand gently nudged her arm, "Ma'am?"<p>

Ivana stirred and shifted away from the hand. She didn't want to leave Petersburg; there was something she needed to find first.

"Please wake up Ma'am," a woman's voice drawled. Ivana opened her eyes. Visions of the canals and embankments faded as she remembered she was on a plane bound for America. She looked up at the blonde stewardess.

"We'll be landing in a few minutes," the woman said, "Please return your seatback to the upright position." Ivana nodded and the woman bustled away. Ivana fixed her seat and made sure her seatbelt wasn't loose. Then she picked her Dostoevsky up off the floor of the compartment and put it back in her purse.

Outside her window the sky was growing brighter as the sun rose. Ivana itched to check her cell phone for the time but knew she would have to wait until they landed. She ran her hands through her hair, trying to force it into some semblance of tidiness. Her lips were dry so she put on a little lip balm. Next she straightened her shirt, picking off a couple loose hairs. Soon she ran out of things to do and just sat there tapping her fingers on the armrest until the plane began its decent. When it finally landed she resisted the urge to spring out of her seat, climb over the old woman sitting next to her and beat a path for the door.

Instead she unbuckled her seatbelt and waited until most of the people in front of her had disembarked before rising, gathering her purse and her carry on, and following them. In the airport she walked slowly until she had worked the stiffness from her legs before striding swiftly to the baggage claim where she was supposed to meet Alfred.

She saw him as she neared baggage carousel number five. He was leaning with his back against a pillar a couple meters away from a gathering crowd of people Ivana vaguely recognized as her fellow passengers. His hands were in his pockets as he watched the people milling around the baggage claim; and then, as if he sensed she was there, his head turned and they locked eyes. He blinked once, as if he was surprised, then he broke into a broad smile and he began to walk toward her. Ivana's pace quickened, it wasn't until she was less than a meter away that she realized she was smiling too. When she reached him she dropped her carry-on and opened her arms as she felt Alfred's own hands touch her, sliding around her waist and up her side. She pressed close, wrapping her arms around the solidness of her boyfriend's body. Her eyelids fluttered shut as she leaned down to kiss him.

Until, something stopped her. Ivana opened her eyes. She and Alfred were so close they were almost nose-to-nose. Alfred had reached up to cup her cheek in one hand, holding her back as he just looked at her. His smile had disappeared into a look of worried intent, as if he were checking for something he was afraid would not be there. Ivana opened her mouth. She made to pull away, but then the look disappeared as Alfred smiled and hugged her tightly. Then he kissed her, pushing everything from Ivana's mind but the smell of his breath, the pressure of his lips, and the gentle, insistent motions of his tongue against hers.

She had missed this.

When they broke apart, gasping slightly, Alfred murmured into her shoulder, "I'm so glad you're back, babe."

Ivana smiled, "I'm happy to be back. It's good to see you again… дорогой."

As Alfred released her to pick up her carry-on she felt a small knot in her chest unclench. She hadn't realized it was there until she had tried to say 'дорогой'. Perhaps she had been afraid that it would not come out at all, that she would be just too vulnerable if she gave Alfred the title of her дорогой. Her thoughts were interrupted as Alfred slipped his arm around her waist and they joined the people standing attention at the baggage claim carousel as it began to revolve.

"How do you feel?" he said.

"Very travel-worn." Ivana's head swung toward the first approaching pieces of luggage, but she turned back to Alfred when she didn't recognize them.

"You look exhausted."

"That's another good word for it. You look tired too, дорогой." She leaned her head against his grinning; it had come out easier that time. She felt emboldened.

Alfred laughed. "Yeah, I've been pretty much awake since you called. I think I dozed off a couple times, but I was just too excited to see you I guess." He smiled up at her, she had missed that smile, "I really missed you," he said.

Ivana opened to her mouth to reply. Then something caught her eye, "That one's mine," she said instead, pointing to a suitcase inching toward them.

"I got it," said Alfred, his arm sliding from around her waist as he went to retrieve the luggage. As soon as his back was turned Ivana grimaced. She had to be the most unromantic, stupid girlfriend ever.

"This one, right?" Alfred held up a small red suitcase. Ivana nodded.

"Let's saddle up and head out, then," Alfred said, picking up her carry-on as well. Then he took her hand again. He grinned, "Come on, I can't wait to show you what I got for Christmas."

A small smile eased over her face as Ivana nodded a second time and followed him from the airport.

Outside a cool wind was blowing as the dawn rays spread over the waking city. Ivana followed Alfred without really paying too much attention to where they were going as her exhaustion gnawed further at her. When Alfred stopped walking she almost ran into him. Ivana blinked, they were in the parking garage; which was strange because neither of them owned a car. She glanced at Alfred who was grinning down at gray car in front of them. Ivana looked down at it too. The car definitely stood out from the other cars around it. Compared to the Mazdas, BMW's, and compact, hybrid cars in the garage this car was long and wide. It had no headlights or trunk that she could see. But the strangest thing about it was the back window, which was split in half.

"Isn't it gorgeous?" Alfred asked. Ivana glanced at him her eyebrows raised but Alfred did not notice.

"It is nice-looking," she offered, although privately she felt that the dull gray paint was ugly.

Alfred walked down the length of the car shifting her luggage to his left hand so that he could trail his right down its side. When he had reached the driver's side door he looked back at her. "You should hear it run," he said his voice low and warm, it washed over Ivana like bathwater and she felt a thrill of delight.

"So, is this it?" she asked. Her eyes widened, "This is what you got for Christmas?"

"Yeah, this is what I got for Christmas," he replied with a smile at her reaction. He took a set of keys out of his coat pocket and unlocked the door.

Ivana stepped forward and watched Alfred opened the door and began to stow her luggage behind the driver's seat. It fit better than she expected. "What kind of car is this? It is not new," she said.

"Nope, it's a 1963 Chevrolet Corvette, also known as a Sting Ray. 1963 was the only year they made them with split windows like that," He gestured to the rear window. "It's a classic." Alfred walked passed her and opened the passenger side door for her.

"Who gave it to you?" She asked glancing down at the interior before letting Alfred hand her in. The car was low to the ground and the cab was tight and cozy, but there was more leg room than she expected, and the red leather bucket seats were very comfortable. She glanced behind the seats. There were no rear seats but there was a lot of trunk space.

Alfred got in the driver's side and closed the door. "My mom gave it to me." He put the key into the ignition and started the car. The engine roared into life then settled into a quiet rumble that Ivana could feel through the floorboards. Alfred touched the steering wheel fondly, "It was my dad's", he said. "It was the first car he ever owned. He bought it in the early seventies after he got back from the Vietnam War. I remember, when he had enough money he would work on the car a little, restoring it, you know. He was planning on getting it repainted, by a professional. But, he had the heart attack before he could get around to it" he finished, his voice quiet. Silence fell between them. After a moment Alfred put the car into gear and pulled out of the parking space.

As they drove toward the exit he spoke again, and Ivana got the sense that this was something he'd been holding in since December 25th.

"Mom gave it to me because she said she knew Dad would have wanted me to have it. I spent so much time working on it with him when I was growing up." He grinned at the memory. "She said it was time that she passed on the stuff to Matt and me that Dad would have wanted us to have when we were men. She gave Matthew Dad's watch and chain. Our dad got it from our grandfather, who got it from his father right before he was shipped over to France for the D-Day invasion."

"It must have been an emotional Christmas," she said.

Alfred laughed slightly, "Yeah, we were pretty surprised. I mean, this car and that watch are probably the two most important things to my dad, besides his wife and kids, you know." Ivana said nothing, because she didn't want to admit that she no, she did not know. Alfred continued, unaware of her silence, "She said she should have done it a couple years ago, but that was right after Dad died and I think separating from his stuff would have been too hard." He sighed.

Ivana laid a hand on his arm. Alfred glanced at her and she smiled, "I'm sure she would not have given them to you or your brother if she was not sure you would appreciate them as much as your father did." After a pause she said, "Did you talk to Matthew about this?"

Alfred reached up and rubbed his eyes. "No. I tried talking to him, before Christmas and after Christmas, and I just don't know. Talking to him is like walking on a fucking minefield. We got into a few fights before Christmas, not that we don't fight sometimes, but it was worse than usual. So after the last one I just left him alone. It seems to be what he wants anyway."

Alfred said it nonchalantly, but Ivana could hear the disappointment and hurt in his voice. Before the Christmas Alfred had been very optimistic that 'family time' and 'the holiday season' would work their magic and get Matthew to open up. But 'Operation: Bruthahs' had obviously been unsuccessful. She squeezed his arm reassuringly.

"I'm beginning to wonder if he just hates me or something." Alfred said. "He never mouthed off to Mom while he was home. He was quiet, but Matt's always been a little quiet. It's just me. It was like, I walk into the room: 'Hey Matt, how'd you sleep?' and then he glares at me and pulls out all this passive-aggressive bullshit."

"I'm sure that's not true," Ivana said quickly, "Have you done anything to him within the past few months that might make him angry?"

"No! I haven't done a damn thing." His hands clenched the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. "I've acted as I've always acted. I even asked him if it was me right before we left for the airport and he told me to go fuck myself, he didn't have time to deal with my insecurities. If I hadn't been so surprised, and if we didn't have to catch a plane, I would have beat the shit out of him right there."

"I'm not sure that would have solved anything," Ivana said reprovingly.

"I know, but I can't think of anything else to do! It feels like I've literally tried everything else."

"Then perhaps you should just wait. If Matthew really does have a problem it may be one he has to solve himself. He is an adult now."

"Grown-ups still need people though, don't they? They still need their family sometimes, don't they?"

Ivana didn't want to answer that, so she didn't. Silence fell between them again as they drove through the brightening streets. Ivana leaned back in her seat, the warmth from the heaters and the soft rumble of the engine lulling her into a doze.

"You know what else it great," Alfred said, his voice rousing her.

"Hm?" She glanced at him. Alfred seemed relaxed again, and a little excited.

"This car is great for couples. I mean, it's cozy, and the seats are perfect for putting your arm around a girl." He lifted his right arm and draped it over the back of Ivana's seat. She leaned against it and scooted closer to Alfred.

"I'm sure it's a very good place to kiss in," she said looking at him as the car stopped at a red light. Alfred grinned, leaned over and kissed her, his arm curling around her shoulders and pulling her close. Ivana steadied herself with one hand as the other reached up to caress Alfred's cheek. They became so absorbed in the contact they almost didn't notice when the light changed. As Alfred turned his face back the road Ivana felt it slip out almost unconsciously, "I really missed you, дорогой."

"Thanks," he said his eyes on the road before them.

"No, I really did," she sat up slightly as the ease and full impact of what she was saying hit her. Now that she had begun she couldn't hold the revelation in.

"I'm not saying you didn't."

"No," she said, "I really missed you. The whole time I was gone I was missing something, something important. And I just realized; it was you."

Alfred glanced at her, his eyebrows raised. Ivana stared back, surprised by her own sudden declaration. Alfred opened his mouth, about to reply. Then Ivana yawned, her mouth opening wide and tears coming to the corners of her eyes.

As the mood broke Alfred chuckled, "Are you sure you're going to make it to the dorms?"

Ivana shrugged and leaned back into the seat again, a little relieved but also a little disappointed. "I don't see why not," she said.

Alfred nodded thoughtfully, "Oh, I just had the thought, if you wanted to come back to my apartment instead. It's not far from here."

Ivana shook her head slowly as she tried to stifle another yawn, "No I'll be fine. The campus isn't much farther. I don't want to be in your way."

Alfred chuckled again, "Never."

"I'm sure your bachelor pad is rather small, in any case."

"True, true. It's probably roomy enough, for a housecat."

The rest of the drive was quiet and Ivana had to fight to stay awake. She could tell Alfred was tired too by the way he kept reaching up to rub his eyes.

"Do you want to stay with me, дорогой?" she asked, and smiled slightly. It was getting easier every time. Alfred looked at her and behind the tiredness she could see a hint of something else, but it was there and gone so fast she couldn't decipher it.

"Maybe, I'm pretty tired too. I'll see how I feel when we get to your place."

'Which won't be long', Ivana thought as they stopped at a familiar intersection. Alfred removed his arm from around her shoulders, putting both hands on the steering wheel. Ivana sat up a little straighter, then leaned her head against the doorframe. She glanced at Alfred. He seemed totally absorbed in driving. But she could tell something was on his mind. He kept clenching and unclenching his hands on the steering wheel and fidgeting slightly.

"Alfred," she ventured.

"Yeah?" His eyes flicked toward her before returning to the road.

"You are not angry because I said I did not want to go to your apartment, are you?"

"What?"

"I mean, I did not mean to be rude or imply that I don't want to spend time with you. I was just thinking about making it back to my own room in the dorms and sleeping in my own bed."

She fell silent. His hands clenched, then unclenched sliding from the position of two-and-ten to nine-and-three.

As they reached the final intersection, preparing to turn into the street leading to the dorms he glanced at her, "No, no I'm not mad at all. I was just thinking, about something else." He trailed off, his eyes returning to the street.

Ivana frowned as the light had changed and Alfred had turned into the drive. Within a minute they had reached her apartment building. Alfred pulled into a parking space and cut the engine. Then before she could say anything, he opened his door and got her luggage out from the back.

Ivana sighed, she was too tired to play guessing games right now. She picked up her purse and rose from the car, making sure she locked the door before closing it. Then she led Alfred up to her front door. As she fished through her purse for her key she became very aware of how close he was. Their forearms, knees, and hips were touching. She turned her head slightly and she could feel his breath ghost against her cheek. Ivana unlocked the door, closing it as quietly as possible. Both her roommates liked their sleep and she was too tired to deal with Feliciana's whining or Lovina's bitching.

She unlocked her bedroom door. Alfred followed her in and set her suitcase and carry-on just inside the door. Ivana took off her coat and hung it in the closet. Then she turned to Alfred, "Do you want to stay here? I won't be good company but you are welcome to stay and catch up on your sleep with me."

Alfred was leaning against the open door, his bomber jacket unbuttoned and his arms crossed. He was giving her that strange look again, then he smiled. "We'll see. In the car, I was thinking we might catch up on other things 'sides sleep."

Before Ivana could ask what he meant Alfred had crossed the space between them and kissed her luxuriatingly slow. He cupped her face in both hands as he carefully navigated her mouth, his attention moving from her lips to her tongue, teasing her and pleasing her. Kissing her just the way he knew she liked it.

Ivana's intial surprise ebbed into confusion before turning into pleasure. Her hands slid up his muscled stomach to his shoulders, making him chuckle with pleasure. Alfred must have really missed her if he wanted to make out this much. She was about to tell Alfred that, while she had missed kissing him too, she really was tired and wanted to go to sleep; Alfred broke away. Ivana opened her mouth but "Alfred", quickly turned into a loud gasp her boyfriend loosened her scarf just enough so that he could nuzzle passed it and kiss her neck. He kissed her neck from ear to ear. As he finished Ivana became aware of just how close they were. She was pressed up to a solid wall of Alfred from just below her shoulders to her knees. Ivana felt frozen, her mind was being filled with so much sensory data that she couldn't think. She was riding a gigantic wave of emotion and physical sensation and it was far from cresting. Alfred returned his attention to her lips. She responded automatically as she felt Alfred's hands venture down her back, sliding down her hips, his fingers brushing her buttocks. Ivana gasped and giggled at the ticklish sensation as Alfred's fingers stroked the backs of her thighs.

"Alfred!" she began, ending with a squeak as he returned his attentions to her neck, sucking and licking. What was he doing? Ivana's hands were flat against Alfred's chest and her arms tensed as she prepared to push Alfred away. His hands were sliding back up to her buttock. A subtle movement of his knee sidled her legs apart as he rubbed his knee against the inside of her thigh…

"Hey!" snapped a voice from the doorway. They broke apart, Alfred stepping away from her so quickly he might have been burned.

A disheveled, pajama-clad Lovina glowered at them, "Keep it down! Some of us are trying to fucking sleep here!" she snarled. "I don't care if want to sex it up, just don't do it at fucking five-thirty in the fucking morning."

Before either of them could respond she returned to her bedroom slamming the door shut behind her. Ivana looked at Alfred, trying to think of something to say; only to draw a blank.

"I'd better go," he said, not meeting her eye. He took few half-steps towards the open door. "I have to go feed my cat, and stuff. I'll call you."

"Al—" she began. But he had gone, closing her door quietly behind him.

Ivana touched her lips, still swollen and throbbing from all the kissing she had done in the last half hour after weeks of disuse. Lovina's words returned to her mind. She grabbed her purse, pulling out the little hand mirror and unwrapping her scarf. Her neck was covered in hickeys. That had been foreplay. Alfred had tried to have sex with her.

Numb, Ivana sank onto the bed. Suddenly, she wished she had never disembarked from that plane. Instead she wished it had carried her back to Russia, thousands of miles away from Alfred.

* * *

><p><span>Authoress Notes<span>:  
>So this is what it feels like to be evil, hm.<br>Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I've been working on this chapter since my last update but I might not have gotten it posted by today if it weren't for the encouragement of Yuzume and M, thanks guys. Plus you guys get another long chapter, I managed to keep it under 20 pages, aren't you proud of me? The next chapter may be out in a few weeks. I'll have another school break coming up in three-four weeks. Thanks for the great feedback I've gotten from all you readers since the beginning. Every writer begins by writing for themselves, but to know other people enjoy the story as much as you is a real treasure for any writer. Thank you again!

Yeah, I know Broadway is in New York, not in London. Alfred's just using the expression: "Give my regards to Broadway", which basically means "Say hello to someone I miss or a place I miss". You could also interpret it as Alfred using the expression to get under Arthur's skin because the term actually comes from a song by the same title written by American playwright and composer George M. Cohan. The song is about the how the singer is forced to stay in London even though he longs to travel home to New York.

Fyodor Dostoevsky is a world famous Russian novelist and short story author who lived from 1821-1881. His most well known works include _The Brothers Karamazov_ (1879-80),_ Crime and Punishment_ (1866), and_ The Idiot_ (1869). When he died in St. Peterburg his funeral was attended by fifty thousand mourners. The passage I had in mind specifically as I wrote this chapter comes from his short story, "White Nights: A Sentimental Love Story":  
>"The houses too are, are familiar to me. When I walk along the street, each of them seems to run before me, gazing out of all its windows, and practically saying to me, 'Good morning, sir! How are you? I'm very well, thank you. They are going to add another storey to me in May'; or 'How do you do, sir? I'm going to be repaired tomorrow'; or "Dear me, I nearly got burnt down, and, goodness, how I was scared!' and so on and so on. Some of them are great favorites of mine, while others are my good friends."<p>

Also here's some pictures of Alfred's car, look for the model from 1963. It's under the heading "Design and Engineering" (just copy, paste, and remove spaces): http: /en. wikipedia. org/wiki/ Chevrolet_Corvette_ %28 C2% 29

Translations:  
>1 Russian: Hello darling.<p>

2 Russian: Goodbye, darling.

3 Russian: Darling

And finally, here's a parting thought:  
>"It was a lovely night, one of those nights, dear reader, which can only happen when you are young. The sky was so bright and starry that when you looked at it the first question that came into your mind was whether it was really possible that all sorts of bad tempered and unstable people could live under such a glorious sky. It is a question, dear reader, that would occur only to a young man, but may the good Lord put it into your head as often as possible!"<br>-The beginning of "White Nights" by Fyodor Dostevesky


	8. Chapter 7: If It Never Lasts?

Disclaimer: I, in no way claim any rights to or profits from Axis Powers Hetalia, those belong to Hidekaz Himaruya and the companies that print and distribute APH, and justly so.

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><p>Chapter 7: If It Never Lasts?<p>

"I'm very happy for you Katya," Ivana said with a small smile.

"Thank you," Yekaterina replied breathlessly, "I still can't quite believe it. I never expected to get this opportunity. I only just began working for the Ministry of Agriculture. I would have expected them to pick someone with more experience, you know?"

Ivana nodded. "But your supervisor must know you'll do the Ministry proud when you go to Estonia, otherwise they wouldn't have picked you," she said. On the screen her sister's eyes began to fill with tears.

"Oh Katya, there's no need to cry!" she chided gently.

Yekaterina wiped her eyes. "I know, I'm just so happy," she sighed, then she smiled, "You know me Ivana; I cry about everything." She reached into the pocket of her pants, "Where's my handkerchief?"

Ivana did know. Of the two of them her sister had always been more expressive of her emotions, especially with tears. She could express a range of emotions with crying, from grief at the loss of someone she loved, to regret for wilted flowers, to joy for a friend's wedding. Ivana had never quite understood it, but it was part of what made Yekaterina, Yekaterina; so she accepted it for what it was. Their mother had joked once that when Yekaterina got married she should tell everyone to give her handkerchiefs as wedding presents since she used them so often.

Privately Ivana had always felt it was a bi-product of their upbringing. She sighed, propping her chin on her hands. She did not want to think about her mother or her father now. Ever since she had been six they had been the catalysts for a whole mess of emotions that she had never quite been able to unravel. That was one reason she had come to America, to get distance and space, find perspective and understanding about her relationships. Instead, she had become immersed in another emotional mess.

'But', she thought as she watched her sister fumble through her pockets, 'in a way this emotional mess with Alfred is an extension of the emotional mess with my parents. What is the term…? Anxiety of influence.' Ivana huffed in annoyance. Even thousands of miles away the past had found a way to dog her.

"Ivana?" Ivana blinked and refocused on the screen. Yekaterina had finished wiping her eyes and was peering at her. "Is something wrong?" she asked.

"Нет, нет," Ivana sat up, "It's nothing."

Yekaterina looked unconvinced but did not push her; because that was one of the things that made Ivana, Ivana; and Yekaterina had long accepted her for what she was as well. Ivana had never been comfortable with crying and if she cried then Katya would get upset and start crying again; and by now there was really no use, their tears would make no difference.

"Well I won't keep you then," her sister said, "I know it's probably getting late over there. Thanks for calling me."

Ivana glanced at the electronic clock; it was 12:22 AM. "Of course", she replied, "I had to call and let you know I got to America safely. Goodbye, Katya. Have a good day at work."

Yekaterina smiled, "Goodbye, Ivana. I miss you."

"I miss you too, старшая сестра."

Yekaterina's eyes began to fill with tears again, "Take care of yourself!"

"And you," Ivana replied before terminating the Skype call. It was about 7:30 AM in the Ukraine, hopefully her sister would not be late for work.

Ivana shut down her laptop and set it on her desk. Then she crawled into bed lying on her side. After a minute of shifting she settled. Hesitantly she reached out and touched the empty space beside her, her hand sliding over the cool sheets. She remembered how it felt when Alfred had been sleeping next to her; and she couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like if they did more than sleep. Ivana withdrew her hand. She had never had sex. Until two days ago when Alfred had kissed her and touched her in that way, she had never felt so aroused and so lost. He had taken her completely by surprise. What had come over him? She had heard men were different than women when it came to intercourse.

'I am a fool for assuming Alfred would be any different', she thought, frowning. 'Perhaps now, is time to end it.'

At the second thought Ivana froze. Ever since November she had done her best to push breaking-up in May from her mind. But now something between them had changed, and while she still hated the idea, she could not deny the logic in it. Alfred wanted sex and despite her age Ivana wasn't sure she was ready. If ever there was a time to turn and run, it would be now.

Ivana turned over onto her other side, drawing her bent knees close to her chest and pulled the comforter up her chin. As she lay in the dark, waiting for sleep, a final thought that had haunted her more than once, returned: 'Why do things always have to change?'

* * *

><p>When Ivana woke up later it was still dark. She rolled onto her back and glanced at the alarm clock. She was not surprised to see it was only a few minutes after 2:30 AM. She sighed; she had forgotten how frustrating jet lag was. Now she would have to lie awake for about fifteen minutes before her body realized it was not still on Moscow time. But first she wanted a drink of water.<p>

Ivana slipped out of bed and found her slippers and robe. As she went into the hall she heard a soft thumping, like the sound of footsteps, and the clatter of a drawer opening, coming from around the corner that lead to the kitchen. Ivana froze in her doorway; could someone have broken in?

'That's impossible,' she thought, 'the doors are always locked.' She tensed, 'Unless they forced a window.'

Ivana went to the corner and slipped around it, walking on the balls of her feet and shifting her weight from foot to foot slowly so she wouldn't make noise. When she reached the doorway to the kitchen she leaned against one wall, stepping over the one spot that always creaked, so that she could see into the kitchen without entering it. The view was marginal and only lit by the light that hung over the sink, but she would be able to see whoever was in there before they saw her. In the kitchen someone opened the refrigerator and took something out, setting it on the counter. Then they started to walk towards the dining table, which was in Ivana's line of sight. As the figure set a container down on the table, Ivana sighed in relief. Then Feliciana turned to pull out a chair and caught sight of her.

"Ivana!" she jumped, pressing her hand to heart, "I didn't realize you were awake. What are you doing up?"

"I still have jet lag. I just came in to get a glass of water. What are you doing awake?"

The small smile that had appeared on Feliciana's face faded, "I couldn't sleep. So I decided to have a late snack." She held up the container, "Do you want some sorbetto? It's strawberry."

Ivana hesitated a minute, then she allowed a small smile to form on her lips, "Yes, I would love some."

Feliciana set the container down, clapping her hands in glee as she went to get another spoon. Ivana went to the sink to fill a glass with water before changing her mind and taking the vodka from the freezer and pouring a glass of that instead. She wanted real water.

As she turned to take it to the table she raised the bottle, "Do you want some?"

Feliciana who was already seated looked up from opening the sorbetto and shook her head, "No, thank you." Ivana put the bottle away.

When she sat down Felciana had already eaten one spoonful of the dessert and was taking a second. Ivana waited until she removed her spoon before reaching in to take a sample. The sorbetto was delicious. Far better than nearly all the American ice cream she had tried. She took another bite and shuddered as the sweet and tart sensations flooded over her tongue. There were even small bits of strawberry fruit in it. On her third bite she took a sip of the vodka, relishing the sensation of ice and chilled fruit being melted by cold, liquid fire.

"It's good, isn't it?" Felciana asked, smiling at her.

Ivana returned the smile and nodded, feeling the tension leave her shoulders. They were silent for a few more minutes, simply enjoying each other's company and the shared treat.

Then Ivana spoke: "So, why couldn't you sleep?" She didn't want to pry, but it wasn't like Feliciana to be awake this late at night. She usually slept very well. But this was not the first instance of changed behavior that Ivana had noticed in her roommate since her return. Feliciana was quieter and less exuberant than she had been before the Christmas Break. She even cooked less; there were only two containers of leftovers in the refrigerator, usually there were about four. Her roommate swallowed and looked down at the spoon in her hand, a downcast expression on her usually cheerful face.

She took so long in replying that for a minute Ivana thought she did not mean to reply at all. But finally she said, "Gilbert broke up with me, after Christmas."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Ivana did feel sorry, for Feliciana, not Gilbert. She had met him last semester and she didn't like him. She had first met him when he came for dinner, and dismissed him as was loud, rude, vulgar, condescendingly arrogant, and self-centered. Unfortunately she often saw him at the Café because he was friends with Francis; and if he was bored, he liked to harass Alfred's quiet coworker Ludwig, who was apparently his brother. But in the time they'd been dating Feliciana had seemed happy and Gilbert had seemed fond of her, if at times Ivana thought he took her for granted a little bit.

Feliciana dug out a large spoonful of sorbetto, "He said it was because-"

"Feli! What are you doing up? Do you know time it-" Lovina stopped in the doorway looking from Feliciana to Ivana and back.

"Ve~ I couldn't sleep and Ivana still has jet lag so we decided to have some sorbetto."

"We didn't mean to wake you," Ivana added as Lovina opened her mouth.

Lovina frowned at her, "I warned you when I moved in that I was a fucking light sleeper." Then her eyes flicked back to Feliciana, "Plus I woke up to keep an eye on that one. Why didn't you tell me you couldn't sleep?"

Feliciana shrugged, "I did fall asleep, then I woke up and", she glanced down at the pint of sorbetto which was nearly half gone; "I was hungry. Do you want some?"

Ivana expected Lovina to further berate her sister, but instead she sighed and came to stand at the corner, in between Ivana, who sat at the head of the table, and Feliciana who sat kitty corner to her. She took Feliciana's spoon. "What kind is it?" she asked, taking a bite.

"Strawberry," Feliciana said with a small smile.

"Hm," Lovina grunted, but she went to get another spoon before sitting down next to Feliciana and digging into what was left of the pint. "So what were you talking about?" she said after a couple of spoonfuls.

Feliciana's face fell, "I was just telling Ivana about Gilbert."

"Fuck, I wish I would've known you were talking about that kraut bastard or I wouldn't have sat down," said Lovina as she ate another spoonful of the sorbetto. She looked at Ivana, "That fucking albino dated my sister so he could screw her, and then he dumped her. Makes me wish that Nonno was here, instead of in Rome, so he could have someone beat his ass."

Ivana's eyebrows rose but she decided not to pursue what Lovina had said. Instead she took a sip of vodka and turned to Feliciana, "So what did he say?"

"He said that he liked me, but that dating wasn't much fun anymore. There was no more spark."

"I'd like to tell him where to stick his spark," growled Lovina, her hand curling into a fist around her spoon.

"Don't say that Lovina, and he didn't just date me to sleep with me. We'd had sex a couple times before he broke up with me."

"That doesn't change the fact that you held off sleeping with him until December and then he dumps you by Christmas? That's fucked up, Feliciana."

Feliciana hung her head, "Maybe he just thought I was a bad lover. Gilbert's dated lots of girls. I probably just didn't have the experience."

Lovina snorted, "I told you not to think that," she said, stabbing her spoon into the pint, "That bastard may be a slut but there's no way you're a bad lover, you're Italian. It's impossible."

"Do you have any experience as a lover?" Ivana asked.

"Sì, I first had sex when I was eighteen, with my boyfriend Leonardo."

"He was a flake, but at least he was a better boyfriend than that albino dickhead."

"Lovi's not a virgin either. She and Antonio have sex a lot."

"Don't tell her that!" Lovina snapped, her face going bright red as she smacked her sister upside the back of the head.

"But sorella, you said that you saw Alfred and Ivana having sex. I didn't think she would care." Ivana blushed and took a large gulp of vodka.

"Don't just assume something like that! Besides I didn't say I saw them having sex. I told you they were getting ready to have sex."

"Oh, sorry Ivana."

Ivana waved her hand in dismissal, although she felt she was still blushing, "Think nothing of it."

Silence fell over them again as Feliciana and Lovina finished the last of the melting sorbetto. Ivana watched them. The Vargas sisters were younger than her, but at the same time so experienced in ways she was not. She took another sip of vodka.

"What is it like?" she asked. She was sitting with her back to the kitchen, so the light over the sink did not illuminate her face as it did her roommates. But she tilted her head down to make sure her face was completely shadowed.

Her roommates stared at her.

Lovina was gaping. "What?" she said.

"Why are you asking Ivana?" Feliciana asked, looking from her sister to Ivana and back, then her hazel eyes widened, "Are you a virgin?"

Ivana struggled not to fidget, "Д-да."

"Then what was all that lovey sexy time a couple of days ago?" Lovina said.

"Alfred wanted to have sex. I did not realize that until after you interrupted."

"Are you afraid?" Feliciana asked gently.

Ivana stiffened, her chin lifting a little but her quiet tone belied her posture, "I don't know. I have heard things, but they are generalities. I have almost no personal firsthand knowledge."

"How old are you?" Lovina demanded.

"Twenty-two."

"And you've never had sex!"

"No, I have not," Ivana said, her voice hard. Was it really that hard to believe?

"Well that's nothing to be ashamed about," said Feliciana brightly, "There're plenty of other girls who don't have sex until their older."

"Like who?" asked Lovina.

"Like Lilli."

Lovina rolled her eyes, "That's because she has a tyrannical uptight dictator of a brother who would shoot anyone if they so much as tried to bow her a kiss."

"Vash isn't that bad, Lovi," Feliciana admonished. Lovina grunted in disbelief. "Well, he's getting better," Feliciana added.

Lovina grunted again and shot her sister a quick, speculative look but said no more. Silence fell over the three of them. Then Lovina turned her attention back to Ivana, her face very serious. Ivana waited.

"Sex…is something that can be very intimate," Lovina said.

"It hurts the first time," Feliciana added.

Ivana nodded, "I've heard that."

"People also tend to overrate it," Lovina continued. "When you get down to it, it's two sweating, naked people rubbing their bodies against one another to create friction."

"But it can feel nice, especially when you get used to it," Feliciana said with a small smile, "Especially if you really love the man you're doing it with. After I made love with Leonardo I felt as if I was seeing the world in a whole new light, as if I'd been reborn in some way. Even…Gilbert made it good, although he could be kind of rough sometimes." She shot a glance at her sister as if afraid of what she might say to that.

But Lovina was still looking directly at Ivana, she said: "Don't have sex if you are unsure about your feelings. If you weren't a virgin I would probably stress this a little less, but, first times matter, especially for something like this. You will want it to count for something. And if the man you are with has enough sense and experience to make it good for you, then it will change the way you feel about one another." Ivana thought about how different it felt when Alfred had touched her a few days ago, she nodded.

Lovina continued: "I- I say this because it can cloud the way you look at your relationship. It can make you or your boyfriend act differently. Unless sex is a physical act that means nothing to you but a means of satisfaction; then sex will deepen your relationship, or it will destroy everything that you ever valued about it." She stopped, sucking a deep, shuddering breath, but she did not look away. Ivana held her gaze.

'She must be talking about her relationship with Benito,' Ivana thought, with a sudden stab of sympathy.

Then Ivana thought of her parents; she nodded. "I understand," she said gently. "Thank you."

Lovina sighed, her shoulders slumping as the tension left them. Her head drooped and her thick, unbound brown hair fell forward hiding her face. The three of them were quiet again. Wanting something to occupy her hands, Ivana picked up her glass of vodka and drained it. Feliciana reached out and touched her sister's arm, concern on her face.

"Lovi," she said tentatively, "Stai bene?"

Lovina looked up and saw that they were watching her. For a moment, Ivana expected the old Lovina to come out and snap at them for staring at her. Then she smiled slightly, took Feliciana's hand and squeezed it.

"I'm just tired," she said glancing at the electric clock on their oven "Which isn't surprising because it's nearly four o'clock." She released Feliciana's hand and stood up, "Come on," she said, her voice regaining a little of its old snap, "You've had your snack, now let's go to bed. I've got an early class in the morning."

"But Lovi, you don't have class until 11:30," said Feliciana, completely straight-faced. Ivana could not help but grin.

"That's early enough," Lovina grumbled, "Come on. I won't be able to fall asleep until you're settled; you know I'm a light sleeper." She folded her arms.

"Okay, just a minute." Feliciana took the empty sorbetto container, spoons, and Ivana's glass and put them all in the sink. Ivana also stood, then waited for Feliciana and Lovina to walk passed her, before she followed them down the hall. Feliciana went into the bathroom. Ivana paused in her doorway, watching Lovina walk into her and Feliciana's shared bedroom.

"Lovina," she said quietly.

Lovina turned around, "What?"

"How long have you been dating Antonio?"

"Nearly two years now, why?"

Ivana hesitated, "Do- do you love him?"

Lovina didn't answer right away and, as before, Ivana expected her to snap, but when she spoke her tone was speculative. "Yes," she said, "I think I do."

The second question slipped out almost unconsciously, "Why?"

Again Lovina paused a moment before responding, and when she spoke her tone was still speculative, and a little tender, "Antonio makes me happy, and I feel like I can trust him. My relationship with Antonio is the opposite of what I had with my last boyfriend, so it must be a loving one." She looked at Ivana and raised an eyebrow.

Ivana turned away, "I see. Thank you again for your advice."

She could feel Lovina nod. "Goodnight," Lovina said.

"Goodnight."

Ivana closed the door behind her and fumbled across the room to her bed, using the faint street light filtering through the blinds to guide her way. She removed her robe and slippers, exhaustion making her movements slow, and her head nod. It did not take long to settle. As she closed her eyes she reflected that, while that night's discussion had been informative, it had not made her dilemma over Alfred and sex any easier to resolve.

'But I can't go on like this,' she thought as she felt her consciousness begin to ebb. 'Tomorrow; for better or worse, we'll talk tomorrow.'

* * *

><p>Ivana slung her bag over her shoulder as she picked up her cell phone and began to text Alfred: "Lunch at 12:45?" As she opened her door, Ivana stopped short to avoid colliding with a squabble going on in the hallway.<p>

"Just take it off!" Lovina commanded, yanking at the hem of a yellow shirt as she tried to force it over a man's head. Ivana's eyes widened.

"There's no time that, Lovi," Antonio said, "We're going to be late for class."

"I'm not letting you walk around in a wrinkled shirt all day, idiota," Lovina said as she finally succeed in pulling the shirt over her boyfriend's head. "Wait right here," she instructed as she returned to her bedroom, "it'll only take a minute."

Antonio folded his arms over his bare chest as he watched Lovina from the doorway. Then he sighed and turned to see Ivana staring at him.

He smiled, "Good morning! I came to drive Lovi to class but she wanted to iron my shirt first." He shrugged, the muscles of his arms and shoulders rippling.

Ivana found herself nodding, then she shook her head slightly. "Good morning," she said before closing her door and walking to the front door, hoping that Antonio hadn't seen the blush she could feel spreading over her cheeks. She thought about what Lovina had said last night and she felt a small smile grace her face.

'Some people show their love in the oddest ways,' she thought.

Her cell phone buzzed as she opened the front door. Alfred's reply read: "Yeah i need 2 talk to u. Sorry abut not calling 4 a cuple days". Ivana paused in the doorway, staring at her phone; had Alfred been avoiding her?

Then she remembered that Antonio was still shirtless and went outside, closing the door firmly behind her. As she walked toward campus she texted back: "Ok."

* * *

><p><span>Authoress Notes<span>:  
>Hey everyone, sorry it's been so long when I said I'd try to update over the holidays. Between school and some personal problems, the new year's been a little hard on me. But anyway, here's Chapter 7! Thanks for all the lovely reviews, alerts, and faves that I've received since the last update.<p>

Ah, much Vargas sisters in this chapter. I was actually expecting there to be less of them, but they had more to say than I thought. I love writing Lovina by the way, she's so much fun, even if she is OOC in this chapter. But, I like to think that she's gotten better since Chapter 2, with Antonio and therapy and all that. She'll always have a little snap, but she won't be as verbally abusive.  
>Can anyone guess who Feli's boyfriend Leonardo iswas based off of?

Also, I must tell you that due to the content of this chapter, Gilbert has gone into hiding. He even changed his name, to Joe Schwanstucker, and he currently lives in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania. Please give him my regards when you go to beat him up.

I hope you all have a wonderful week. Thanks for reading this latest installment, and please review and lemme know what's on your mind (questions, comments, concerns, I take them all).

Translations (If the translations are incorrect please let me know):  
>1 Russian: "No, no".<p>

2 Russian: "big sister".

3 Italian: "Grandfather or Grandpa".

4 Italian: "Yes".

5 Italian: "sister".

6 Russian: "Yes".

7 Italian: "Are you okay?"

8 Italian: "idiot".


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